Happy Gotcha Day, Nora Jane.

Some friends of ours are in China right now and today is what we call in the adoption world, "Gotcha Day".  Today, their little girl is finally in their arms.  I am so thrilled for them and for Nora, their precious daughter.  What an amazing day!  Just looking at pictures, I cried.  I can't imagine what they are experiencing.  If you are reading this, won't you pray for Heather and Jason and their newest family member, Nora Jane? Also, please life up the three children waiting here for mom and dad to return and the opportunity to finally meet their new sister!

Cars Birthday

Today was Phin's 4th Birthday Party.  Where does time go?  How can my baby boy be turning 4 in just two days;)

This year it took him a bit to settle on a theme, but finally settled on CARS.  What a fun party to plan and implement;)

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 The table ready and waiting for kids and food;)

 Pinata filled to the brim with candy and the Lightning-Mater Cake he wanted;)

Refreshments?  Their choice of Motor Oil (grape Koolaid) or Antifreeze (lime Koolaid) 

 Tow Mater's Toss

Ramone's House of Body Art (face painting station) 

When the kids arrived they were asked to find the paper containing their name and decorate their license plate. 

 When done with the license plate, they could go to get their face painted or play with the cars on the large track we taped on the floor.

Goodie Bags were found in Sarge's Surplus Hut 

Outside- the location of our very own Piston Cup Race:) 

Radiator Springs showed up on our wall;) 

For Phin's face paint- he chose a lightning bolt 

 AND Lightning McQueen

Boys and Cars....we could have planned nothing else;) 

Almost all of our party guests;) 

 After Tow Mater's Toss, they plays "Sarge Says" (Simon Says) with Grandpa

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Phin, quite obviously, loved it;) 

Next, they went out side and found their license plates had been mounted on the back of their very own Lightning McQueen 

Everyone got to drive in our very own Piston Cup Race 

On Your Mark, Get Set... 

GO! 

Next, we ran a second race "Mater style"- aka backwards!!! 

Gotta love this kid;) 

While in the drivers seat, we then played Red Light/Green Light 

FUN:) 

Time to Eat;)  Hot Dots with Cheese wheels, Apples with grape wheels, and Tow Maters Taterchips 

 Then Cake (our photos of the candle blowing extravaganza are all black for some reason:P )

Pinata time- we chose a pull string one this time, cuz 10 boys with a baseball bat seemed more than we could handle;) 

CANDY!!!! 

Finally, presents...too many presents;)

My son is still awake at 9pm.  He just can't wind down.  He is exhausted, but still full of excitement.  He is so sweet.  He's thanked me repeatedly.  His love tank is very full tonight and I am grateful for the opportunity to fill it.  

My heart is already breaking....

I've started and deleted this post numerous times since Friday.  My journal page sits blank before me, as well.  I am certain God is doing a work in my heart and yet am at a complete loss with how to articulate it.

I will meet my baby boy in less than two weeks (11 days, 15 hours and 10 minutes, to be exact;).  We'll be in Haiti.  I suspect the whirl of emotions that will occur in my heart will be overwhelming. Will I shed tears...or will I be so overcome that I'll feel numb?

I am certain that God has big things for ME on this trip- not easy things, but big things.  I have read voraciously about Haiti since we started the process to adopt from there.  It is no coincidence, however, that God chose last week for HelpOne Now to do a blogger tour that included a couple of my favorite bloggers.  I spent much time last week literally weeping as I read their posts and every post of every blogger on the tour.  Perhaps it is simply their eloquence, for certainly they are all very gifted writers and bring the devastation and hope that coexist in Haiti to life.  I think, however, the depth of indescribable that was occurring in my heart was more than words, it was a God thing;)

I have often worried that I compartmentalize my emotions a little TOO well.  I am great as a nurse in the ICU, but I have wished I wasn't SO GOOD in crisis when it comes to my children.  Sometimes I fear I don't react strongly enough to things THEY view as big.  I have prayed for God to help me be more present in the moment emotionally- to not just automatically turn to thinking and logic, but to feel deeply in situations; to allow tears to flow freely when appropriate and not have to push away my mind in order to figure out how my heart feels.  Through this adoption, I have felt many times that he is answering that prayer.  As I approach our upcoming trip, I am so confident he is answering that prayer that I sometimes fear I will be overcome by all the emotions that are swirling.  At times, I am so overwhelmed I long for the days when my mind could make reason of everything.  My heart is breaking for Christian's homeland.  It's a part of who he is and this beautiful land and people are suffering.  Child trafficking, rape, and poverty beyond comprehension are common place.  Things my mind can't even begin to wrap itself around.

I've been to third world countries.  I've seen people living in card board boxes and dressed in clothes we would use as rags to wipe our floors in the US, but I think I am unprepared for what awaits me in Haiti.  It is the poorest country in the world; what a horrible distinction.  In light of the poverty that is throughout our world, the devastation in a country deemed "worse of the worse" is heartbreaking.  Yet simultaneously, unequivocally the Haitian people are described as joyful, hopeful, enduring.  They are creative.  Certainly, we look at a tent city from our warm, houses with multiple rooms and feel pity.  But it is also ingenious.  They recreated a "city" without architects.  Sure, problems abound with sewage and crime and it turns our stomach to think about living in such poverty, but look beyond it and see what creativity and ingenuity these beautiful people possess.  I know I will be humbled beyond comprehension.  I want a piece of their brilliance and joy, of their resolve and hope. I want to know their beautiful hearts.

How does one prepare for what is certain to be a breaking- a breaking of my heart, of my self, of all that is "sacred"?  I feel like I am embarking on a journey and will see God in ways I never could have imagined.  In the wonder of meeting a child that  I didn't not carry in my womb, but love already beyond words, I am experiencing an indescribably miracle.  Already I am in awe, how much more when Christian is in my arms?  In the devastation of Haiti, I know I will come face to face with the depths of my own depravity.  I will be challenged with what it means to be thankful, to love God, to experience joy and hope and meaning.  I know God is going to do a work in my heart- my hands are open, my heart is open and still, I feel like I'll need a million buckets to capture all that he'll show me.  I already feel like I am trying to catch water from a fire house in a Dixie cup...and I haven't even arrived on the soil.

Words fail me, but hope fills me.  The cry of my heart is to be fully used of God- so he can break and rebuild me in any which way he chooses.  I know true joy and contentment are only in the center of his will.  I KNOW he is faithful; I KNOW I can trust him 100%.  So here I am Lord...break me.

Just another one of "those" days...

They say deaths and births happen in threes.  I don't know if it's true, but I find theories like these intriguing.   I firmly believe, for example, that children act crazy at certain times- storms, full moon, etc.  Or is it just coincidence?  I have no clue, but sometimes this house is relatively calm (I say relatively because I don't have "calm" children by nature;) and other times it is just insane.  Today was one of those "insane" days...one of those, "really?!  You did THAT too?"

Today- I had to buy a bunch of tissue paper I didn't want or need at Target because my son for some reason decided to jump up on the bottom shelf and dance.  I grabbed him "immediately" but a stack of tissue paper was ruined.  I couldn't in good conscious leave it there- so I bought it.  It is was of course the stack of ugly tissue paper, I'll be trying to salvage the peices that are usable so I apologize to anyone getting a gift from us in the near future.  Ugly tissue paper may be coming your way.

Today- Chloe threw a TEMPER TANTRUM the likes of which you may never have seen because I wouldn't buy her candy at Target.  Um...we never buy candy at Target, but today this was devastating apparently.

Today- My son decided to climb behind our plasma TV....a place he knows not to be.  He was scrambling to get out when I came in the room and "caught" him; in his scramble he knocked the remote (thankfully not the TV) across the room- ruining the cover....so now we'll have to tape our batteries in place.  Turns out he was hiding the fake dog poop I bought him a couple weeks ago...so perhaps I'm partially to blame;)

Today- My son and daughter decided to play in my candle cabinet while I was using the restroom.  They threw candles AND a very delicate glass lattern.  Glass EVERYWHERE.  I had to dig a shard out of Phin's foot.  I really liked that lattern:P

Today-  The van door was open, I was getting Chloe out.  My son climbed in the front and hit the "gas" door button.  The gas door opened into the open van door.  Now I can't close either.  They are sitting waiting for Marc to attend to them.  I sure hope this isn't an expensive problem.

Today- my freshly mopped floor got covered in chocolate milk when my daughter decided it would be funny to spit chocolate milk at her brother.  This will be the last time we have that treat.

Today- my son wanted to play "it's raining" during nap, so he took his sisters ziplock bag of Lite Brite pegs and made it rain.  There are Lite Brite pegs ALL over his room...and I do mean ALL over.  He'll be pickin' that up himself...probably for the next three day it's such a mess;)

I was blow drying my hair and Phin and Chloe are giggling in my closet.  I was waiting for them to come in and "scare" me, when I realized they were taking too long.  I peeked in on them.  They had emptied out half my scrap booking ribbons on the floor.  AH!  They know better...we've cleaned up glitter and unspooled ribbons twice before.  Their menacing laughter was worse than the mess....they knew exactly what they were doing...and immediately said "sorry mommy" when I walked in the closet.  I think they think it's hilarious when I am frazzled.  GRRR.


It's certainly not the end of the world, but enough to make a mom tired;)  Can't help but shake my head and wonder "what's up next, guys?"  Is it something in the water?  Were their breakfast apples laced with some crazy drug?  The mischief abounds...discipline abounds....and mommy's energy stopped abounding about 9am;)  I also wonder how bad my sons antics will get when he can play actual pranks.  He just seems to have mischief in his bones.  He definitely will keep me on my toes for a LONG time to come.

TGIF!

Five Question Friday

1. Did you have any homecoming traditions?

Goodness, I haven't thought about homecoming in a long time, other than appreciating pictures of people's kids in their homecoming attire.

We had Spirit week, each day with a different theme.  Then classes each had a section of the hall to decorate and there was a contest for best decorations.  We won a lot....we had awesome decor.  We went all out- even had a moving cart of "gold" on a track in a mine one year- pretty awesome.  (Perhaps this is where my birthday parties and silly suppers took root?)

Homecoming was on Friday.  The banquet was during the school day.  The game was at night.  We didn't have football so ours was during basketball season.  It was always fun.  The cheerleading half time routine was always incredible.

2. Do you ask your spouse before spending money?

Sort of, I guess.  I spend money freely and perhaps too often.  We have a budget and I stay in it, but if I were to go buy say a car...or computer or something large.  We'd decide together what we were buying.  Or if I am in need of clothing and want to have a shopping spree, I'd say, "Hey, are you okay with me going shopping on Saturday.  How much can I spend without screwing our budget over?"  It is sort of asking, but only cuz he does our budget.  We are a team and BOTH view it as OUR money- so the same discussion would happen if he were to want to buy a bunch;)

3. If you could be famous for something what would it be?

I really don't think I want to be famous.  Too much stress and input from others.  I'd be one of those gals that goes crazy, I am sure.

I suppose if I were known for something though, I would want it to be love.  I really want my life to be characterized by crazy love for Jesus and others.  I've been given lots of love in my life...and I want others to experience love too.

4. Have you ever seriously thought you were going crazy?

Yep.  After I had Ava, I was exhausted.  She slept for a 6 hours stretch at one week old. I woke frantic realizing it had been six hours and as I walked toward her room, I was worried I'd find her dead and thinking what in the world does one do if they find their child dead?  Then I had this crazy thought, "I'd sleep.  I am so tired.  I could sleep again."  I felt so guilty.  I mean what a calloused thought!  I didn't fully release myself from guilt over that until 2 1/2 years later when going home from the hospital with Phin.  The nurse said, "You are hormonal.  You may have crazy thoughts.  The way you know you aren't crazy is that you recognize the thoughts as crazy.  Crazy people don't know their thoughts are crazy."  Best nursing advice ever;)

5. How do you eat your steak? Burger? (as in, well done, medium, still moo-ing...)

Well done.  Perhaps medium well.  But I am a no risk gal in most areas of my life, including illness induced from poorly cook meat.  ANd I don't get the blood runnin' around on your china thing- GROSS!  No thank you.  (by the way, what an odd question?!  I am answering because I am participating, but does anyone really care how I like my meat?!  If so, please drop off steak any time, of the Filet Mignon variety please;)