Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I love my husband

Marc and I have been married 9 years. That really is a crazy long time when I stop to think about it. I often take him for granted cuz he's been apart of my life for so long. But lately (maybe since our anniversary at the end of Dec.) I've been thinking about how darn blessed I am. He really is such a good man- a godly man and a servant.

You know he'll tell you "I married up" or some other silly sentiment hinting that I'm too good for him, but the truth is- I am no cup of tea much of the time- not to mention when I am pregnant. Oh, I am not horrible, but I can be a bit tricky to figure out. Poor guy;) I mean really- let's take oh....sex for example cuz that is a totally inappropriate subject to talk about, right?;) If he were to say come one to me or grab me in an agressive way, he's very possibly going to get "I am NOT a peice of meat" in response. Yet, if he is too gentle or timid in his approach I have been known to say a time or two, "act like a man- it's kind of a turn off for you to appear weak." See? Would you want to be married to me? No- most of you just read that and said, "what a brat!" I don't mean to be, I just tend to tell him exactly how I am feeling- the problem is that it changes with the wind;)

He's so helpful most of the time and my favorite characteristic about him has ALWAYS been that if you point out a way he has been hurtful or offensive, he is quick to apologize (and he's genuine about it). He doesn't usually make excuses for his behavior, but owns it and tries to make it right. I love that humility.

He also seems to find me so darn tootin' hot no matter what I am wearing, whether or not I have make up on, and whether or not my hair is done. I don't know if he's delusional or if I am completely unaware of my rock star status:), but it is such a secure feeling to know he adores me. Really even if he is delusional and no one else on earth agrees, I don't care- his opinion is really all that matters and he makes me feel beautiful each and every day.

Oh he's not perfect- I guarantee you that, but today I am focusing on his wonderfulness. Even with his few imperfections, I wouldn't trade him for the world;)

Saturday, January 9, 2010

The grass is just grass no matter where you graze;)

I realized this week that often I look at othier people's life and think "oh they are so lucky". I realized this week, perhaps many of my friends do the same. Contentment is something I want not just SOME of the time, but ALL of the time.

I was talking to a friend on Thurdsay and she mentioned that because of circumstances, she was going to have a babysitter for a few hours in the afternoon and she'd be able to get some stuff done. I said, "I hate you, I am so jealous." (joking, of course, cuz I adore her). She replied, "You get to do that all the time, I never do." The conversation didn't strike me as much until later in the day. See, I don't actually get a babysitter to get time to myself, all the time, but I DID have one regularily this summer. Once a week, I had a girl come so I could get my errands and such done. That is really a luxury- it allowed me the chance to get everything done in a day because everything takes twice as long when you are toting two kids along. I also have a lady clean my house every other week. I clean it in between on the "off" weeks, but it gives me a little freedom to not go crazy if for some reason I don't get to everything.

Those are indeed luxuries. For our family, they are sanity savers. See I often look at this friends life and am envious because her husband works four days a week. She is able to make appointments, do errands, etc. in the middle of the week because he is home. She looks at me and says, "she gets a sitter." My husband leaves at 7am and gets home at 6pm. I have an amazing husband who helps a lot where he can, but really everything is my responsibility because he gets home with just enough time to put my kids to bed. I look at her and think "I'd give anything to have Marc home more." She'd probably looks and says, "her life is easier, she has a bit more money to work with". The truth is motherhood is just hard, it's mundane, and often it feels a bit lonely. None of our lives are easy and none of us get much time for ourselves or for doing our own thing. It's just the stage we are in.

I have another friend who often complains because her husband has to work 6 days a week (he owns his own business). I will say, I do feel badly for her sometimes, my husband is gone today and it DOES feel lonely to be home alone with kids on a Saturday when most are having "family days". She feels that often. At the same time, I often remind her that her husband is home every morning. Sure he is gone on Saturdays and that STINKS, but he also is home until almost 11 every morning and comes home at the same time as mine or a little later. The fact of the matter is, we all are alone a lot with kids. We also love when our husbands are home or when we get time to ourselves.

So I am going ahead and making a New Years Resolution, though it is something I don't usually do. I am going to STOP myself everytime I find myself coveting aspects of someone elses life. The truth is: God has given me MY life and he has blessed me richly. I am VERY fortunate to be able to stay at home. There are such challenges to being a stay at home mom, just like there are challenges to being a working mom. Nothing in life is easy. Life itself is a challenge. You an chose not to marry or have children- then one complains about loneliness. You chose to marry and have children- then complain about the work, the challenges, etc. God I am sure sits up in heaven saying, "if only you'd sit back and realize that your cup runneth over!" So that is my goal- yes, I have hard days. YES, it is exhausting at the moment to care for my 30lb. son when I am pregnant, but YES God helps me through each day and my husband never complains when the house is messy or he ends up with Mac-n-Cheese for dinner. My life isn't super glamorous, but there are so many moments of JOY!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Post Holiday Recovery

We've been back from our holiday vacation for quite a few days and I feel as if the whole family is still recovering;) We had a nice time, but traveling with two children is just tiring. Here I am in the second trimester and my planned surge of energy hasn't surged quite as high as I had imagined. I have needed a nap almost every day and yesterday when I didn't get a chance to take one, I fell asleep on the couch watching "The Biggest Loser." The truth is life is just busy sometimes and pregnant or not, you need rest. I am realizing that life with three will probably has to slow down even more. I don't want my kids memories of their childhood to be of running from here to there, but of a peaceful home.

New Years was a great day, actually. We got home on New Years Eve because our flight schedule changed. It was a day earlier than expected. We just stayed in and chilled on New Years Day. The kids were THRILLED to be home and played so well all day. That night, we roasted hot dogs and marshmallows in the fireplace. It was a joyous relaxing day and one I want to experience more often around here!

Quickly, it feels like life ramped back up to normal. Responsibilities being what they are, there is only so much we can change, but if I were to label something a New Years Resolution- simplifciation would remain mine;) I feel like we've done a great job in some areas, but there is still plenty of room for improvement!

This week I am just tackling getting back into a rhythm...realistically Marc HAS to go to work, but we sure MISS HIM! I need to grocery shop, menu plan, etc... It's rip roarin' excitement 'round here;)

On a completely unrelated note- my children are huge. Ava has become an amazing big sister. She wants to share a room with her brother (which is convenient since we haven't found a housing option we like better at the moment so they may have to share when the baby comes;). She is so capable, I find myself amazed at how much she has learned in almost 4 years. WOW the mind is amazing! Phin is hilarious and exhausting and mischievious and wonderful. You cannot help falling in love with this boy. He is just a charming little thing....okay, a charming big thing;) AND I am getting a LOT of movement from the little one inside, so his/her presence is very much a part of my life already. I LOVE these little movements; I feel bad that Marc can't feel them. It really is a special thing.