a few recent conversations:)

We've been without a computer for over a week, since two Saturdays ago, when i contracted a computer virus looking for a recipe online. During that time we've had a few conversations that made me laugh. Here are some I remember:

1) At our dinner table:
Marc: Ava said something in the car that made me laugh. I wish I could remember what it was. AH! I have got to write these things down.
Phin: More pasta, mommy.
Ava: Knock, Knock, mommy.
Me: Who's there?
Ava: Flammigibbet
Me: Flammigibbet who?
Ava: Flammigibbet with pizza on it.
Me: (fake laughing)
Ava: I am so funny. I really need to write these down.

2) In the car:
Phin: I'ma cow, 'moo'
Me: oh- really? Well, I am a horse, 'neigh'
Phin: I a cow, 'moo'
Me: I'm a pig, 'oink'
Phin: NO! Mommy a horse!
Me: oh, I forgot, 'neigh'
Phin: Chloe sheep 'baa'

3)Phin- recently procrastinating at bedtime ("coincidentally" after I'd already finished songs and prayer)
Phin: Phin go potty now
Me: you have to go potty
Phin: oh yes!
Me: Okay let's try it (note- he just turned two, he has never peed or pood on the potty, but I do try to let him go sit when he asks periodically though he's never before asked at bedtime)

Phin sits on potty giggling that he has to point his penis down.

Phin: I put penee in potty (ha ha ha)
Me: Are you all done?
Phin: Yes, sure
Me: okay, lets go to bed
Phin: Wait, mommy, wait. Phinny wash hands after potty.

Sure...bedtime was delayed but atleast he is learning this good habit young;P

4)Monday after Halloween, I am in kitchen washing dishes...
Phin: Trit or Treat, mommy
Me: what? (while laughing)
Phin: Trit or Treat. candy please mommy

5)In car tonight:

Ava (out of no where): Papa, when is __________ going to die? (I can't list the person here in case they read my blog, cuz she would be extremely offended!)
Papa: uh- I don't know why?
Ava: She's really old.
Papa: well, we want to have her around for a long time still don't, we?
Ava: I'm not sure, Papa, she's getting really old....

6) About a week ago:
Ava comes to me VERY upset: Mommy Phin will NOT quit calling me Ernie and my name is AVA!
Me: Oh honey, he isn't saying Ernie, he is saying 'honey'. He's copying mommy.
Ava: I don't care what he is saying, my name is Ava.

Note- he persists in only calling her honey all week. He uses it all the time in place of her name. "Honey, where are you?" "Honey, let's go down stairs" "thank you, Honey" (hilarious;)

Can I lock her up like Rapunzel?

I am pretty conservative, but I've never thought of myself as overly conservative. In fact, I would have thought I was barely on the conservative scale. In the past few weeks, however, I am beginning to wonder if I am unreasonably restrictive. My daughter is four. Four years old to me is still very young. I still have her watch Sesame Street with her brother and honestly I think it is extremely age appropriate. She is learning to read and such- sesame street is ALL about this. Most of her friends haven't watched that show in a couple years. Shows I think meant for tweens are now apparently being watched by most of her friends. Take, for example, Hannah Montana. Certainly it isn't a bad show, I just happen to think it isn't appropriate for a four year old.

She's also started to tell me her friends are claiming to have boyfriends. One of these friends from church is the youngest of a very large family. They are a family that home schools. I would have thought they would be MORE conservative than I am, yet their daughter is talking to mine about her boyfriend and going on dates. The other little girl is a friend from school. She told Ava she is "in love" with a boy in their class and wants Ava to ask him to be her boyfriend. Ava didn't want to do this, so she asked me about it. We had a good conversation and I think I handled it fairly well. I told her these girls were funny (not in a demeaning way). We talked about what a boyfriend was and I told her she didn't and shouldn't really have boyfriends until she's ready to get married because the REASON for having a boyfriend is looking for a husband. She laughed and said, "four year olds aren't ready to get married. why do they want boyfriends?"

On one hand, I can tell myself this isn't a huge deal, but I have to admit the larger part of me wants to pull my daughter out of preschool and sunday school and just keep her safe and innocent at home. I just don't love the idea of my young child learning thing from other kids. Shoot- I hate the idea. I appreciate that she so far has come to me when she is wondering about these things, but how long before she doesn't tell me everything?

We live in a crazy, hard world that is very sinful in a lot of ways. I know I cannot protect her from that forever, I was just really hoping to keep her innocent as long as possible. Certainly I get that many people reading this will think I am a little bit of a nut job. I know a boyfriend and Hannah Montana are bad things. No "harm" has come to my child. It isn't about these issues in particular as much as realizing that kids are growing up faster and faster. If they have "boyfriends" at four years old, what will they be interested in at 12 years old?

Can't we just stay focused on letters and princess play a little bit longer?!

Life is Groovy

I haven't updated my blog in a few days and after my last post, I hope none of you think I am too destitute. Last week was tough to be sure, but it was also good. I blogged on the hardest day and I feel like God really blessed my honesty with him and my commitment to praise and lean on him. It felt like a test and ,at the risk of sounding proud, which is not my intent, I feel like we passed. It was as if we were pushed to our limit but stood our ground to praise and glorify God despite our circumstances. From that point on it just felt like God poured out blessings. We just felt him smiling upon us. It may sound hokey or weird to some, that is okay. I really felt last week like my Father watched me struggled but endure and then stepped in, put his arm around me and said, "I'll take it from here."

I felt such joy through the exhaustion. My sisters called and just told me they were coming; I suppose they know me better than to ask. They were like a breath of fresh air. I got a break from holding my little one all day and my other two were able to enjoy playing with the aunts they like so much. I just love my sisters (anyone who knows them totally gets that;). Having them around is just a good time. I was able to host our small group on Friday night and have Phin's birthday part on Saturday. All that would have happened, but with their visit it happened with ease.

Marc has been getting better daily. We were even able to drive down to Chicago on Sunday afternoon to attend a costume party with our birthing class (from our pregnancy with AVA!). We prayed about going and really felt like we had peace about it. We have a painless drive BOTH ways with zero traffic and THREE sleeping children! It was like having a date in the car. The sun was shining and we were able to talk and connect uninterrupted. I drove so Marc could lay out. We enjoyed seeing old friends and just marveled at God's graciousness to us in allowing us to go; it was amazingly such a painless trip- both physically for Marc and emotionally for both of us.

We also realize Marc's injury was a bit of a blessing in re. to his job. He's really dealt with a lot of stress lately. Last week he was forced to just let work go- his team pick up what they needed to and he realized that it wasn't something he needed to worry so much over. I think in the long run, the lesson really will be of benefit to all of us!

On the drive home, Marc and I talked about how content we are with where God has us. We love Sheboygan. It just fits with what we want for raising our family. We feel like God led us here and we want to be faithful to serve and glorify him here to the best of our ability! We also just have joy overflowing in re. to our family. God has grown us so much as parents. Sure there are many hard days as a mom; but I can say without a doubt that I know my children INDEED are a blessing and I am SO thankful I get to stay home and raise them. WOW, am I fortunate!! I have an incredible husband to walk through life with and I am so thankful for the leadership and humility with which he leads our family.

Sure we've been pushed near our limits in some ways but sometimes it is so empowering/encouraging to see your hands at the end of your rope and have the priviledge of witnessing how God steps in and picks you up. The older I get, the more confident I am of his provision and faithfulness!

On Monday, my dear husband took a little sleep from the bottom few stairs while carrying the baby. He was able to rally and land on his feet, keeping the baby safe, but in the process TORE a muscle in his back. I emphasize the word TEAR because it is not a little pull. He is out of commission. I have a new found respect for single mamas!

On Tuesday, he was only able to crawl on all fours- LITERALLY! He couldn't stand or sit...shoot, the poor guy couldn't lie down comfortably. The doctor game him muscle relaxors and NSAIDS. He is getting better SLOWLY. He can sort of walk hunched over, but needs to use a cane. He still cannot sit, though the MD recommended an exercise ball so we'll try that tonight. He is in pain and completely unable to do much of anything.

Take a moment to feel bad for him and then turn your attention to me- afterall, this is my blog, right. FEEL BAD FOR ME;) I basically have a fourth child. Admittedly, he is a bit easier to care for than a child- he has a thankful heart and patience. But let's take a minute to remember that I am still adjusting to having THREE children. This is HARD.

BUT by God's grace, we are making it. I can't deny that I have gone to bed in tears the last few night, purely from exhaustion. This morning I also cried when I woke up. To top off my plight, my dear baby woke up SEVEN times last night...SEVEN TIMES! When she was up for the dayat 5:45 am, I couldn't help but cry. I am tired- in the purest sense of the words. The past two days I literally barely sat to eat. I haven't seen a TV show or read a book. The only thing I've been able to do is pee and eat...and those haven't opportunities often had to wait longer than my body wanted;) This morning I was straight with God. I flat out told him I was MAD. Couldn't he atleast make my infant sleep. I am so thankful for the Psalms, because I needed the "WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?" moment this morning. YET, what is wonderful is coming back to truth! NO! He has not forsaken me. In fact, despite feeling tired, I am doing well. My kids are doing well. I haven't screamed at them or lost it- that is a miracle. Yesterday morning I asked God for Chloe to fall back asleep on her own and she did- that miracle was easy to forget today, but he answered that prayer and so I know he will strengthen me through this time and give me peace and joy.

Things could certainly be worse, right? but sometimes knowing that doesn't make THIS easier. It is hard to take care of three little ones with no respite. It is hard to be exhausted and see your husband sleeping on the couch. No matter how logically you speak to yourself- it is hard to see someone else sleeping when you cannot. I really cannot do this- flat out can't do it, but you know what THANKFULLY I serve a God who promises to bear our burdens, supply our needs, and give us strength. He is good- that never changes. Life changes, but God does not. Praise his name. This trial won't be over overnight- it will be a long while before Marc can hold Chloe or Phin; I am so thankful that God won't leave us or forsake us. I need Him right now, let me tell you. In that sense, I am thankful for this time. When we are forced to our knees and have to CLING to God to make it through, we get the opportunity to see Him at work.

(Let me not forget, also to thank people here in Sheboygan. We have only lived here six months. Before we moved here, we were warned by a few people that Sheboygan isn't known for being welcoming. Thank God we are part of the body of Christ. I had two offers of dinner yesterday and ended up with a lovely lasagne that is enough for three meals. I have had encouraging words, offers of help (unfortunately my kids are still adjusting to baby, so there isn't much anyone else can do), and just over all have felt loved. Thank you guys!)

OUCH!

AVA HAS MASTERED THE MONKEY BARS!!! This is a huge accomplishment and cause for much celebration in our home. She has been diligently working on getting across the monkey bars for two weeks.

First I taught her how to fall off them straight down and then told her it was just a matter of building up her strength in order to get across. She is a true first born and has been diligently going back again and again to master the fete of making it all the way across. Daily we were getting reports on the way home from school. We'd go to the park on the in between days just so she could practice. The problem is she wasn't making it past three or four rungs.

We were visiting some dear friends over the weekend and I realized she isn't letting herself use momentum to propel forward. She doesn't reach on the swing she waits until she's still and tries to reach or drops down. I then explained to her momentum would keep her going and SHE GOT IT! All of us cheered for her and the smile on her face was priceless! She kept going back again and again to get better at it; to make it across more smoothly. When she hopped down she said, "My hands sure do hurt though." I gave them a look. This is what her hands look like.

Proof of much hard work and determination! Perhaps I should have encouraged giving herself a break! She is one tough cookie and is eagerly awaiting her "new skin" to grow so she can show off her skills on the playground at school.