The Pacifier Fairy

Ava is 3 1/2 and she was still sleeping with a pacifier. I regret not taking it away BEFORE Phin was born; I was sure she would suffer jealousy if she no longer had pacifiers but the new baby did. Of course, as "luck would have it", Phin never took a pacifier. I found ways to ease the guilt I felt as a mom: #1- she ONLY used them for sleeping, #2- she was a good sleeper, #3- the dentist said her teeth looked great, and #4- I read in "Sleeping Through The Night" that some children have the NEED to suck until age 4.

Upon starting preschool, however, I learned that Ava could do without it if needed. I did NOT send her with a paci to school and low and behold, she was able to sleep during rest time. Now, this was shocking to me because she literally sucked that paci ALL night long- not just briefly when falling asleep. I have heard that kids will give it up when ready, but with my kids I started to realize, she probably would not. We've been talking up the pacifier fairy for about 8 months, all ready and waiting for the day when our little girl said, "Tonight is the night I am putting them under my pillow." She hasn't seemed to move any closer to saying it. Tuesday I decided all of a sudden that I was going to "force" her to be ready. She had no school on TH and that would give her 7 nights to adjust before returning to school (in case she was sleeping poorly). I knew my word or Marc's wouldn't be enough, so I put a special letter for her in the mailbox. When she got the mail, she found one card address to HER. This is what it said:
Dear Ava-
You have grown up into such a beautiful, nice big girl. You are ready to leave you pacifiers behind! Please place them underneath your pillow. I will come and take them and give them to Tinkerbell to tinker with and make new wonderful things. In their place, I will leave you a special music box made JUST for you. It will even have your name on the top! See you soon!
Love-
The Pacifier Fairy

I drew a pacifier under the signature. Upon opening and seeing the pacifier, she immediately said, "I THINK IT'S FROM THE PACIFIER FAIRY!" We read it to her and to our relief she was excited. She had a few moment of angst, but was overall very thrilled to know she was ready.

We'd already made plans to make Pink cupcakes after Phin went to bed (we've been reading Pinkalicious) so I let her have one last "suck" with her pink paci.

We used it while we read stories and then under the pillow the whole lot went. We waved goodbye.

Our little girl slept until about 1 am when she ran into our room thrilled to annouce, "THE PACIFIER FAIRY CAME AND LEFT ME A MUSIC BOX, COME SEE!" It went very well!

Now the next few nights were a different story- she got extremely emotional and after a couple days overtired and therefore more emotional than we'd ever seen her! We had lots of hugs and even ended up letting her sleep in our room on night two, but by the fourth night, she no longer cried at bedtime or asked for pacifiers and has slept soundly since. YAY! We made it through our roughest transition yet...

If anyone finds my daughter, please return her asap...

This afternoon and evening my daughter has seemed more like an Ogre than a child. She is overtired and has more emotion surging through her little body than she knows what to do with. We initially had temper tantrums at naptime because I said "no" to fruit snacks. I offered her a healthier alternative and got a full on temper tantrum in response. My friend Nicole was here picking up her children (we had a great double playdate this morning), and I had to step away THREE times to put her in her room. That was not only abnormal but so insane I had to just laugh about it. At that point I could laugh because I was sure she fall right asleep and wake her normal happy self. The problem- she did not sleep.

She came of out her room multiple times before finally staying in there until 3pm as instructed. She came out initally much improved in attitude and behavior, but it didn't last long. She was simply too tired to hold it together. We started bedtime at 6pm...6pm- no joke. It took us an hour to get her in bed. ONE FULL HOUR. We had a full on psychotic child. It was as if something overtook her. We had tempertantrums that we have NEVER seen. She feel asleep quickly once she kept her little bum in bed...I hope tomorrow is a bit better. I would like to LIKE to be with my daughter tomorrow. Today she must have KNOWN how awful she was asking because midway through a tantrum episode she calmed briefly and in tears asked, "do you still think I am cute, mommy?" It was asked in genuine concern....which did make her quite cute. Being three looked pretty darn rough today...but I guarantee mommy's was a little harder, then again mommy gets chocolate now....

Well worth it;)

I am extremely glad that my head ruled my decision making today. Initially, waking the family a bit early from naps meant about 10 minutes of crying and grumping...not by Marc, but by the little girl whom we were TRYING to do something special for. We almost decided not to go, but had some compassion on her because we knew she was awakened from her beauty rest.

Thankfully, a few minutes into the car ride, she perked up and remained a perky pleasant little thing for the remainder of the day. We had an amazing time at Toy Story. The 3D took her a couple minutes to get used to. It was adorable to watch her try to catch snowflakes during previews or squeal with delight to see Cinderella's Castle "right" infront of her before the movie began. She wasn't too fond of Toy Story 1, however; she kept saying "I don't want them to touch me" and let's be honest Sid, the evil neighbor kid, is a little creepy, even in 2D. She actually has only read the book to Toy Story 1, but she did enjoy it enough to want to stay for number 2.

Watching Toystory 2, was just one of those times I HOPE I never forget. There sat Ava holding her Woody and Jesse dolls, clapping and giggling and talking to the screen (despite numerous "ssshh"s from her parents). She was in heaven. This is a movie she has seen ATLEAST 50 times, but experiencing it in 3D was like seeing it anew. It was WAY worth the grumpy 10 minutes and even surpassed the solitude of the naptime that was cut short. There is truly NOTHING like seeing your kid tinkled pink, full of joy, experiencing life to the fullest.

YEE HAW!

To do or not to do...THAT is my question.!

It's very quiet in our house. Everyone is napping, except me. I have to wake them up. We have a special outing planned for Ava; we are taking her to see the Toy Story 1&2 3D double feature. She is a Toy Story FANATIC. I know she is going to have a great time. In fact, we told her she had to go to sleep RIGHT away today so she could wake up in time to go and you have NEVER seen a three year old fall asleep so quickly. Despite knowing of the great fun we will have, however, I am at war with myself. Should I really wake them all up or scrap the plan and enjoy a few more minutes of peace?

These are the moments when you realize just how long a week you have had. I'm literally debating throwing away a movie afternoon for like 15 more minutes of solitude and peace. Insanity or just intense appreciation? Either way, I am known to follow my mind and not my heart so here I go to stir the pot and reignite the crazy flame of chaos that is so often burning in a home with small kiddos....

Yet Another Lesson in Motherhood

Every Friday evening I find myself a little tired. This week has been particularily emotinally draining because my son is in his "needy" phase and my daughter has been emotional. Oh it hasn't been without high points or laughter, of course. Phin has a smile that still melts your heart even when you are in the peak of frustration and just when you are starting to get really angry inside Ava will say something that makes laughter completely unavoidable. I am thankful for those moments, but still more thankful when my husband walks into the house on Friday afternoons. I really need to make him a t-shirt that proclaims, "Fear not! Reinforcement has arrived!"

My mom tells me I expect too much of my daughter. It's certainly true. I expect Ava to act older that she is. At times, I forget she's only three. She communicates with such "grown up" terminology that I need to remind myself she doesn't always REALLY get what she is saying. Today we had a DOUBLE playdate, with two friends coming over after ballet. Ava had decided she was NOT sharing her Barbie dress. (Now, let's not mention that she hasn't been playing with that dress and only took a special interest because she found out her friend J wanted to wear it.) It was her friend V's first visit to our home so on the way home from ballet I talked to her about being a friend who "loves at all times" and being a welcoming and inclusive host, etc. I suggested that she not only share her Barbie dress, but that she give it to Victoria to make her feel especially loved and welcome. Ava didn't like this idea and was just being selfish. I pointed out her selfish heart and said, "That disappoints me because I know you are not always selfish and usually kind to your friends." She did NOT care...she replied, "nope, I will just have a selfish heart, mom." AYE! What do you say to that? I was stunned and spiraled into crazy thinking, "oh no, my child will never love others." "Oh no! My child will never be empathetic or self aware."

Truly isn't the problem half with me? I want my daughter to be "the kind, loving one." If I am honest with myself I only want people to see Ava's good side. She is delightful and smart and funny. I want people to spend time with her and say, "what a great little girl." But if I don't ease up my expectations I am going to give her performance anxiety! She is three. She feels what she feels at the moment and can't imagine feeling otherwise. She is self-centered. She is imperfect...just like her mommy. I guess I am pushing her down the road of "people pleasing." YIKES!

Lesson #28371- "Don't try to have deep conversations with a three year old and then get hot and bothered when they don't react as an adult would. It can make you crazy now and lead to them being crazy later."