Thursday, September 3, 2009

My Cup Runneth Over

I am a mom. Have you ever had a moment where that simple fact hits you like a ton of bricks? There have probably been moments where I feel the weight of the role is as heavy as a ton of bricks, but this was a wonderful moment- A moment of joy. I am a mother. I am so blessed and so fortunate.

At first I started down a prideful road and started thinking about how "good" of a mother I've become. It wasn't long before the Lord reminded me how many "bad" moments I've had. I AM proud to be a mother that lavishly loves her children and does a really good job much of the time, but the pride is not in my own abilities but in the fact that God is gracious enough to walk this journey with me.

I've shared with many a person that I had this idea in my head prior to being a mother of what a mother was. I suppose I thought that when they handed me my naked, crying newborn I'd instantly change into that person. The fact of the matter is motherhood doesn't change who you are at the core of your being. I am still me. Motherhood HAS however magnified every strength and weakness I have, it's magnified my talents and weaknesses. Motherhood forces you to either crumble under that magnification or grow. What I realized today is how much I've grown! God is good.

My little girl had her second day of preschool today. I watched her join in with absolute abandon and I was so proud of the delightful little girl I've been given. Simutaneously, I was able to see the baby boy in my arms watch the children playing on the playground; he was filled with delight. What a pleasure it is to raise these kids! GUSHY, HEART BURSTING moment of pride;) These are MY children and I am their MOMMY.

Motherhood is bliss and chaos all rolled into one. It is moments of sheer terror and elation experienced within seconds of each other. It is emotional. It is stressful. It is what it is. At first, I fought for control. (I am sure God had many a chuckle watching me strive to control the uncontrollable.) This year I have reached a new level of surrender. I am in a free fall and it is wonderful. "Let go and Let God." If mothers wore bumper stickers- that would be mine.

"I am a mother, hear me roar." Hear me laugh; Hear me cry. Hear me praise my King eternal for the wonderful priviledge in partaking in his creation, and in partnering with the most wonderful man in raising our children.

1 comment:

  1. Ok. Not only do I LOVE the way your passion lends itself to such beautiful descriptions, but I love how God works things out so clearly in your head. In my opinion, that is the best (not only) way that God has walked with you in this journey. Not only do you "get it", but you seem to always get it just in time, or at least in plenty of time. It allows you to know just what to say or how to react to your kids BEFORE, rather than later. Thank you for the huge lump in my throat as I am reminded that I am not doing this parenting thing all alone. (Cause God knows I have NO idea what I'm doing. Pretty much a teenager raising a tennager. lol) Kristin