For everything there is a season...

I have much to update on in the next few days as we just returned from an amazing family vacation, but at the moment I just needed to take a minute to process a few things going on in our church body.

One of our pastors died on Saturday. He had a rare form of cancer and from diagnosis to death was barely over a month. He was young (54) and left behind a wife, two kids, and a grandson whom he absolutely ADORED. Mark was a blessing to us; we only knew him about a year. I can't help but think about the hole he is leaving in our church body and in his family. He was a salt of the earth guy. He welcomed us in the church body here, visited us in the hospital within hours of Chloe's birth, took us out for ice cream after Sunday evening church, and has been to our home on a couple occasions meeting with us as we went through the membership process. He was definitely a man who radiated the Holy Spirit. We feel so blessed to have crossed paths in this life with him and it is honestly still shocking and surreal that he's gone.

Death is such a weird thing. I've experienced it far to often in my own life, and, of course, as a nurse. It's surreal. You KNOW when someone's soul has vacated and you see that truly our earthly body's are just shells; they are beautiful and God given/created, but shells nonetheless. Mark really isn't dead, his body is dead. He is quite alive, with no more pain, basking in the Glory of his Creator and King.

That it exciting. He has finished his race, completed his course; He has heard, "well done my good and faithful servant."

What is hard to process is the effect on those still here on earth. I've had trouble falling asleep at night in some ways because I can only imagine how Jeanie, his wife, must ache at night fall. They'd been married a very long time. How empty his side of the bed must feel to her! I love my husband, and while I know I could live without him, I hate to imagine it. That is her reality. What about his kids, whose earthly hero is now gone? What about the grandson who is so young, he won't remember this man? It is just sad.

Our senior pastor has been dealing with his father's end of life issues and on Friday his wife had to go into emergency surgery for a detached retina. She'll be continuing a tough recovery all week and had to miss their son's high shool graduation. Over twenty people in our congregation are dealing with cancer. People are out of jobs. It is a tough time.

It's easy to wonder, "why?" and yet at the same time know in the depths of your soul that whether we understand it or not, God is in control. He is allowing this AND he will be glorifed through it. I find myself wanting to help and not knowing how; in a sense I want to "make it all better." Prayer doesn't FEEL like enough and yet that is what God is calling me to do. The JOB he has for me right now is on my knees. I, who likes to "do, do, do", must join our church body in simple surrender. "Have your way in us O Lord! Your name and renown are the desires of our heart."

God is ultimately in control. He alone knows the days on earth each of us will be given. All to him I surrender! May I seek him and follow where he leads, every day. May his will be all that I desire. May I live my life worthy of my Savior's sacrifice and when I die may HE be glorified.