Advent Day 3- Making our own Wrapping Paper

We give gifts to others to honor Christ's gift, let's take some plain paper and give it a little lift! We'll use it to wrap presents for those we adore, so the gift is homemade even though bought from a store.


Large rolls of plain paper, sponges we used sharpies to trace shapes on and then cut, and washable tempera paint....simple preparation for creative juices to be given room to flow.

I love seeing how the kids wrapping paper has changed with time.  Christians is still mostly scattered but the older three give much thought and organization to the task now.  Each one really is such a reflection of themselves;)

Advent Day 2- It's Christmas PJ time!

 What is advent without delight?  Delight will be plenty on this advent night.  What's cozy and silly all wrapped up in fun?  A Christmas PJ photoshoot is an advent home run!


We have been wearing Christmas PJ's before they were easy to find everywhere.  I used to pay a LOT more for them and only a few stores carried them.  I love all the options available and all the deals to be found!  This year a facebook ad way back in September sucked me in....Golden State Warriors Christmas Pajamas.  Ridiculous and perfect;)

Phineas, dear child number two, is a tough nut to crack.  He is kind and polite and obedient most of the time.  He's also introverted and doesn't easily spill his heart.  He connects, like many men do, through shared experiences.  One way we connect is through reading classic books together at night, but I needed more connection with him, so I have become knowledgable about basketball.  I watch games with and without him and I watch Sports Center on the regular.  I am gaining knowledge of football and beginning to enjoy it.  I have always loved basketball, so I have just tried to take a dive into all the facts he is so interested in.  We followed the draft and all the team swapping that went on in the NBA this summer.  Phin appreciates so many players in the NBA so we have quite a few teams he'll root for on any given night, but the team he is most obsessed with is the Golden State Warriors.  I knew when I saw this silly ad, that these PJ's would bless him.

I know, I know, this probably isn't the BEST year to be wearing Warriors PJ's, but fans are fans even in the middle of the worst season ever;)  Phineas was delighted to open up blue and gold this morning: and advent is about hope, so we couldn't help but laugh at the symbolism of the PJ's this year.  If any team needed hope...

And now after that entirely too lengthy explanation as to the origin of our pajamas.....I give you- our silly photo shoot;)

Family fun is always a win...even if the team your reppin' is losing;)

Advent 2019

Advent!  It's my favorite time of year- life has slowed down in the Aneed home and we are awaiting the coming of Christmas with anticipation.

I am surprised as my children grow older how many of my advent activities they still look forward to.  Tradition and Nostalgia, it seems, trump feelings of being "too old" or "too mature".  They have been talking for the past weeks about the days they know are coming.  They each have favorites.  I had planned to do more "new" things at this stage in their lives; I assumed they'd outgrow Christmas Baths and Window Cling Day, but I was wrong.  They love the memories: Christmas brings out the youngest parts of them.  They even refuse to let me get rid of our Little People Nativity set!  We are long past the Little People stage for every day play, but today they still set up their toddler nativity set, still wanted fresh batteries so the angel could glow as "Away in the Manger" played, still wanted to give voice to the chubby little wisemen.

I watched them today as they eagerly embraced wonder and couldn't help but think about how to pull more of this wonder into our every day.  I could not help but ponder how I can provide more opportunities for them to throw their age and the expectations that come with getting older by the wayside and give them opportunities to just innocently worry about nothing but play and laugther.  I thought of Jesus words, "Let the children come to me" and  I wondered how often I push my children to move past the very childlikeness he embraced.  How often I am too independent myself, to caught up with cares and worries and 'to do' lists, to just run joyfully into my Saviors lap?  Children teach us so much!

I am aware as I type of all the mamas who are stages ahead of me in life; I know many a friend who would be quick to remind me how young my children still are!  Yes, we have made it past diapers and potty training.  We have four kids who can ride bikes and read.  Those foundational physical skills have been accomplished, but how much more is yet to be done in nuturing and growing their hearts.  Each day the weight of parenting is apparent; the passage of time ever swift.  Days like today carry a lightness, a freedom of childhood that my heart craves.  I sit and savor.  Perhaps the nostalgia of the day pushed me back into the world of blogging, afterall so many precious memories are held here.  Perhaps I sit to type to stay in these moments just a bit longer, to cherish a little deeper, to make a record to look back upon with fondness.  This blog is a permanent time capsule I can always dig up and I am grateful for the record of my teeny children that is kept here.  So I return to record more in THIS blissful life stage of children who are capable of so much and yet still have hearts full of innocence and joy.    God has given us much and as we focus on him this month, I will record again the joy and peace this focusing on him brings us each year.

This year our Advent season will be a bit compressed.  Moving cross country has made us renege on our vow to always spend Christmas at home.  (School vacation is limited and the distance from grandparents is far.)  This year we will spend Christmas with Marc's family in Colorado.  Packing up all our gifts becomes difficult when we have six people and all our winter gear.  We will just do Christmas stockings on Christmas day and open up presents early on 12/20 before we leave.  This has made advent planning a bit compressed.  I had to pull back on outings to fit in all the my children's "must have days";)

Advent Day 1:

Advent is a word taken from the Latin language that means "the coming".

We are eargerly waitng for Christmas, now just 25 days away.  The jewish people were eagerly waiting for the coming of the Messiah for hundreds of years!  As we anticipate Christmas, lets make sure to focus on what it is really about- not presents and wish lists, not chocolate lollipops and cookie making, not even family and friends.  Christmas is about Jesus.  Jesus came many years ago as a baby.  Let's not forget as we anticipate the day celebrating his first coming, that Jesus is COMING AGAIN!!!!  Many missed his first arrival, they were looking for the wrong things; they had their own ideas about who the Messiah "should be".  Let's make sure we are focusing on Jesus and learning about who HE tells us he is.  Let's make sure we are honoring him in our hearts and by our actions.

Today, along with out box of Christmas books and nativity, we will get out our manger, reminding us of the humble way Jesus came.  Every time we honor him with hearts of humility and service, we will add hay to the manger as a symbol of hearts that welcome him.  Today we will also remember that Jesus came to earth to die....came to be payment for our sin.  We will set up our Christmas tree, evergreen and full of life because our Saviors death upon a tree gave us life eternal.



Each year the kids get an ornament that represents something they are into at that age.  It's funny now for Phin to hang his Elmo ornament and for Ava to hang her Disney Princess heart.  I tell them they may laugh in five years at this years ornament.  They never believe me....Ava is geeking out to Dr. Who so she has a Tardis Ornament (It looks like a phone booth but I am told it is not...I don't ask too many questions- SCI-FI is she and Marc's thang;)  Phin chose a Thor bobble head looking thing, Christian chose Blank Panther.  Chloe chose a gittery pink bottle of nail polish.

Our tree is far too small, and crowded with ornaments.  Each ornament on our tree holds a memory- one for each trip we've taken since marriage, one for each year of each childs life, a few precious gifts...the tree a reminder that God is life and love and the abundance of ornaments a reminder of the abundance of blessings he bestows.

What has not changed, whether is has been recorded on a blog or not, is my love for playing with food.  What would Christmas Tree day be without a little food fun?;) 

Christmas Tree day is Chloe's favorite advent day.  She decked herself out in Christmas attire and she is always my sous chef in the kitchen.  Christmas tree waffles were the menu tonight and she helped every step of the way;)

We recieved  The Advent Book from our mentors 14 years ago when I was pregnant with Ava.  It is a nightly treasure to this day.

June

June- the month of summer and sunshine.  It is also the name of my Grandma and for me "Grandma" also conjurs up memories of the same.  I see her smiling face and hear her laughter.  Immediately I feel loved and safe.

My Grandma June is almost 92 and it looks very much like she will soon be leaving her earthly body and going to spend eternity with Jesus.  Grandma has been slowly fading the past few years.  She is here in body but little of who she is remains.  For her sake, I cannot wait until she gets to go to be with her Jesus; she gets to be restored.  I love imagine the light returning to her eyes and I always imagine her giggling as soon as she sees Him face to face.

I have lost quite a few special people in my life- more than most, some say.  When you lose a dear friend at 14, it forever changes you.  When you lose three more precious friends, you learn to cherish friendship and each day you are given.  My experiences with the death of grandparents and of dear friend's parents has prepared me for the loss of my dear grandmother...or so I thought.  What I am realizing as I prepare to say goodbye is that really I am not ready at all.  I have known she was fading for some time.  I have already mourned the absence of who she was.  Intellectually, I know 92 is way past the average life expectancy; she has lived a long life and I know her time has likely come.   But the ache forming deep in my heart is strong- in moments the thought of losing her literally takes my breath away.  My grandmother is so deeply etched in the foundation of who I am.

Oh the memories!

I see her sitting at the table, in the cabin, snapping beans chatting with my Aunt Dorothy.

I see her serving coffee to a table full of friends and family sitting at that long table in her bay window, offering food despite insistence that all were full.

I hear her laugh and remember the stories she told time and time again.

She bought all her grandkids matching red-footed Christmas jammies long before it was in fashion.

She let us play dress up with her clothes and wigs.

She thought of all of us year round...christmas shopping for her began on Decemeber 26 and I well remember how gifts were stashed in her attic and in the upper reaches of closets- stashed where ever space could be found.  I loved to snoop to see what would be coming under the tree.  She caught me peeking a time or two and laughed at my curiosity.

She bought me my first Mario game...on a wrist watch.  I knew it was coming and I snuck and unwrapped that gift for weeks before Christmas came, played the game and taped it back up.  She never questioned why I was so good at it immediately.

Oh how I love to play on her soft yellow cannopy bed and smell the perfumes sitting on her mirrored tray.

Her house always felt like a second home.

Summers spent at the lake were filled with love and full bellies.  I can almost taste her freshly fried fish and raspberry marshmallow dessert.  I can see the cupboards stocked with sugary cereals we only got to eat at her house;)

My grandpa was the fisherman of all fisherman and every evening after dinner most cousins would pile into the boat and go catch Crappy's.  I went a time or two, but usually I stayed back with Grandma.  Staying back usually meant baking- baking and hearing grandma's stories.  She showed me how to make cream puffs and watching them puff up in the oven felt like magic.

She poured love into all her food; maybe filling bellies was her way of filling hearts.

I always wanted to nap at my grandma's, far past napping age.  She would lie down among us and tell us stories.  We almost always asked her to tell us the story of 1 eye, 2 eyes, and 3 eyes.  How I wish I could retell it just her way.  It never got old; nor did hearing stories of her antics with her friend Mary Ellen or how she met grandpa...or how she'd sneak behind her parents' garage and put on red lipstick before school.

A few summers, my parents let my sister and I stay for a whole month with Grandma and Grandpa.  Oh the memories with my cousins- a sleep over every night.  I had a secret though, one I don't think we have ever talked about before now.  As an adult I wonder if any of them have this secret too.  I would try so very, very hard to wake up before all of them.  The five or six times my body cooperated with this plan held special grandma time.  See, my Grandma had her quiet time with Jesus before we all woke up.  If I was lucky enough to be awake, she'd invite me to grab a bowl of cereal and join her.  We'd walk quietly down to the lake and sit on the pontoon boat at the end of the dock and she'd read to me from her bible as I ate, the lake still like glass around us.  These memories are holy ground for me.  I think of it often now.  The days my children get up before the sun and want to join me for my quiet time- I struggle.  This is my time, my time to pour my heart before Jesus and let him fill it up with his presence.  Grandma never seemed to be this selfish, never seemed to mind my joining her.  Not once did she seem the least bit annoyed; she always made me feel like I'd made her day by joining in on her special time.  I often wonder if she really was that loving and unselfish or just a really great actor....I think it's the former.  It inspires me.

I broke grandma and grandpa's German cuckoo clock.  Yes, cousins that have forgot- that was me who pulled on those dangling pine cones.  The clock was a souvenier from their trip of a lifetime- a month traveling Europe.  I was old enough to know better but I played with the clock; it broke and she wasn't home.  Uncle Jer and the cousins that were present panicked.  I was terrified.  We heard the car pull into the driveway a few minutes later; I was crying and I ran to hide.  I heard all the voices frantically tattling on my poor decision.  I heard footsteps coming.  Then I heard grandma's voice, "Kimmy get out here.  You know I love you more than any clock."  She hugged me as I cried.  I think of this every time I read the story of Adam and Eve hiding in the garden of Eden.  She came to find ME and in doing so reflected my Heavenly Father. 

Oh! How I will miss her stories and hugs.  I miss taking walks and picking wildflowers.  I'll always miss her black velvet chair and kitchen papered in Ivy wallpaper- the chair a symbol to me of her softness, the ivy of the way she wrapped life around all of us.

I'll miss her singing hymns and teaching Sunday school at Wright Church.  I'll miss her making cookies and cinnamon rolls- of watching her cut the dough with string.

I'll miss her saying, "come have a little visit with Grandma" when she wanted to have a heart to heart.  I'll miss feeling like her favorite; she had a way of making each and every one of us feel just that special.

Her life was not pain free.  She endured deep tragedy and pain and yet she was joy-filled.  She loved big.  Her door was always open and therein one would always find her open arms and heart.

How I love my Grandma LaPine.

I hope I always open my arms and home, and I fill bellies and pour coffee and somehow in the process fill hearts with the love of Jesus.

I love you forever Gram. Thank you for loving me well.

Confessions of an Abiding Mom Wannabe

A couple months ago, I came across a blog that posted 10 days of Homeschool Enrichment.  I printed it out and thought it would be a good exercise; after all, why not start out enriched?

As I expected, it was helpful in figuring out my "plan" in regards to homeschooling.  I love a good plan, a good checklist, a good map to lay out the journey.  Marc and I worked together to set up a written discipline plan to take the stress out of discipline (this has worked so well!).  I visioned the whys and whats, I prayerfully wrote a vision statement and attempted to lay out a general plan for each day.

What I did not expect was to be stopped dead in my tracks on day two, to find myself at a loss for words as I examined my own heart and fell in repentance before the Lord.  What I did not expect was this:

(*note for better viewing, please click on image and it will take you to the original blog post)

 



 

 

Guys, seriously, I sat in my easy chair in the corner of my bedroom in silence as I looked at this chart.  I long ago learned I am not a super mom and if asked, I would definitely say/have said that I was using the term tongue-in-cheek and had no such aspirations; but, as I read through her comparison of Super Mom vs. Abiding Mom, my heart sort of broke.  I had much to repent that day and daily every since.  How often my disposition is affected by the storms of life.  I want my kids to be godly, truly I do...and yet so often I am most concerned with them being "good".  My perspective is so often based on what is seen.  I  am discouraged by failure.  I expect perfection of myself.

 

I have to tell you, this was most convicting not because of my blog title (though let's be honest it was poetic justice), but because one of my favorite books ever is Abiding in Christ by Andrew Murray.  I read it 17 years ago and knew I wanted my life to be marked by abiding.  Yet, when I saw this comparison laid out in this way I realized how self-sufficiency creeps into so many areas of my life and my motherhood.

 

I DO NOT WANT TO BE A SUPER MOM; I WANT TO BE AN ABIDING MOM! 

 

I know the homeschool aspect of this journey is such a small piece, just a tool He is using at the moment.  God is graciously directing me to a new place with Him. In some ways perhaps I strayed a bit, but in most ways, I think He is always growing us, leading us, taking us into deeper intimacy with him.  That is what I ask Him for, and I believe He is answering in new ways, bringing me to a deeper level of dependence and surrender.  He is opening my eyes in new ways...Oh! that they would stay open to what He has to show me!

 

It is often said that in scripture and life, when something is repeated, it is important.  At the moment, I feel like God has been repeating or reinforcing the same message.  I better be getting it!  I just finished a short, little, recently published, former ebook, titled Teaching From Rest . It's a great quick read, that packs a powerful punch.  It's final section deals out homeschool suggestions, but I swear she should take it out and just publish it under "Parenting from Rest".  It is so good and reinforced what God has continued to whisper to my heart about simplicity, getting my agenda from Him, being present in the now....ABIDING.

 

"Before we attempt to live a day well, teach our children, or tackle our to-dos, first we put the whole thing at His feet.  We beg God to use us to fulfill His purpose, and then we see that every frustration in the day ahead is an answer to that very prayer."

 

Every frustration an answer to prayer?  How desperately I want to go through my days with that proper perspective:  to realize that everything that crosses my path is fulfilling HIS purposes, not mine.  That He is refining me and simultaneously using me to show His love and grace to my kids, to neighbors, to slow cashiers at Target, to the McDonalds attendant who gives me ice tea instead of coke....everything.

 

"Most of my own frustration comes from forgetting what my real task is in the first place.  He's called me to be faithful, yet I am determined to be successful."  Faithful looks so different that what the world tells us defines success.  He has asked me to be a good steward of my time, of my children, of my talents.  He hasn't asked ME to perform miracles, He's got that job sealed up lock, stock, and barrel.  He wants to be God and wants me to be...well, me;)  I just need to bring Him what I have, my proverbial  "Five loaves of bread and two fish", and HE will stretch it, expand it, and work miracles.

 

Marc and I have so clearly felt led to pull back, simplify, focus on relationships, to exchange busyness for rest and chaos for peace; yet almost every day I have to catch myself from adding more into our lives.  It is so hard to keep my eyes focused on what He has laid out for us; it's so easy to look around and fall trap to the comparison that kills contentment, peace, and joy.   I see so many things others are doing, so many GOOD things.  I know my kids could be speaking other languages, taking more classes, and obtaining more skills and sometimes when I hear others giving these things to their kids, I feel like maybe I am failing.  I feel like my kids are missing out.  I see people thriving in ministry and I start to question whether I am contributing enough; if I am honest, one of my BIGGEST struggles is wondering if OTHER people think I am doing enough.  I buy into the worlds deceitful definition of success.   I worry what man women think of me and my contributions to church, bible study, our neighborhood, friendships, our homeschool community.   I am prone to worry and yet all God has asked of me is to be faithful to what HE has called me to- not to what He called someone else to;)  When I look to the left or right, I find anxiety and discontent.  Yet, when I keep my eyes on Him, when I am abiding in Him?  That is where I find that indeed His yoke IS easy and His burden IS light.

 

"Jesus did not do it all.  Jesus didn't meet every need.  He left people waiting in line to be healed.  He left one town to preach to another.  He hid away to pray.  He got tired.  He never interacted with the vast majority of people on the planet.  He spent thirty years in training and only three years in ministry.  He did not try to do it all.  And yet, He did everything God asked Him to do." (Quote in this book from another one- Kevin DeYoung in Crazy Busy: A (Mercifully) Short Book about a (Really) Big Problem.)

 

Hi my name is Kim and yes, I am a recovering successoholic and a former supermom wannabe; but He knows my name, my make up and my heart.  He calls me beloved daughter.  He leads me beside the still waters.  He restores my soul.  In Him, I will abide.