Homecoming Part 4- The journey HOME!

9/21/13-

We are in the plane on the way HOME!  We got up quite early and Christian was up two time last night so we are very tired, but thankful.

The flight from Haiti to Fort Lauderdale was great.  HE seemed very nervous this morning but surprisingly relaxed when we said goodbye to Sonya and entered the airport.  I think believe it or not he was nervous we were leaving him.  WE WEREN'T:)  He was fine, playful, and seemed confident in airport.  He won't talk to strangers, of course, but was fine with us and playing back and forth between us.  He feel asleep on the plane before take off and woke up calm and sweet.

We got stuck in immigrations in Fort Lauderdale and missed our flight.  SO FRUSTRATING!  Who knew it would be so difficult!  We were there for two hours.  It was frustrating but we trust God has a plan.  Christian was fine, but tired and bored, I think.  There were no more Chicago flights and they wanted to put us STANDBY on a flight to Dallas and then Chicago...or have us wait until the morning.  We were kind but persistent and a manager approved giving us a confirmed seat from Miami.  We took an expensive 45 min. taxi ride to Miami, had dinner and a short wait- in which Christian was GREAT.  He even walked holding our hand.  We played hide and seek, peg board, etc.  Now we are flying HOME!

They flight attendants gave us white wine to celebrate;)

He again fell asleep, during take off this time...poor exhausted boy.  I was nervous getting dinner at the airport, not sure what he'd eat.  I knew he liked meat so I got him pasta with meat balls, but I ended up eating it cuz he got EXCITED when he saw my pizza.  Turns out he LOVES pizza.  Phew...an easy meal;)   Soon we get to be together as a family!  I cannot wait to see the other kids!

God has been so good and gracious.  I know we'll have hard days, but I just feel like God is caring for the needs of my heart as well as the kids.  I feel so known.  After this summer, I just am tired and spent and I feel like God keeps reassuring me, "I got this, relax.  I have your days ordained for you.  Don't worry."  I have to trust him with Chloe, Phin, and Ava and any difficulties they have with the transition.  He is reminding me that he is able to do IMMEASURABLE more than all we can ask or imagine!

Homecoming Part 3- Spending the day Bonding with our Boy

9/20/13- 3pm

Another GREAT day.  When we went to bed last night, Christian started to whimper a bit in the crib so Marc pulled the crib next to the bed and held his hand.  He went right to sleep and slept through until the morning.  He didn't cry when he woke up!  Another first (he always has before)!  He just sat up, looking around.  He is a slow wake up not unlike Chloe.  He had nasty diaper and was just kind of quiet and unemotive before breakfast.  He perked RIGHT up after food;)  The kid LOVES Nutella- how thankful I am that I just bought a huge jar before we left cuz his brother eats it like crazy too;)  He was all smiles and laughs as soon as he got some food and juice.  He does SO well communicating pointing to what he wants to eat and giving us yes/nos.  He is doing great at feeding himself now, but allows us to help him- a very good sign for attachment.

He also is trying to imitate words!  He now says, "car, dog, and clean up!"  That last one is hilarious!  He is a dumper, so I keep trying to teach him to pick up before dumping the next thing.  He is very compliant and loves the clean up song...I sang it a gazillion times today and now he joins in;)

We played with Sonia's toys here and when we started to get a bit clingy with me and not wanting Marc we took it as a clue maybe he needs a snack (they say blood sugar is a huge issue in orphans, so the general rule for new adoptive parents is eat every two hours) as it had been two hours since breakfast.  Again- perked back up.  We let him watch an episode of Dora so we could get ready for the day and then went outside for bubbles and to play ball.  I think his arm is even better than it was in April.  We have a little athlete!

He then seemed quite sleepy.  It was a full day yesterday and it was HOT in Haiti today.  We had to keep him up until lunch so we hunkered down in our air conditioned room and played blocks and watched one more show before lunch.

Nap time came immediately after lunch.  Just like bedtime we had to lay near him but he went to sleep.  I only held his hand for a minute and he let go and closed his eyes.  Again he woke up without CRYING!, though was pensive.

He is a very good imitator and quick learner.  He is attempting words, consistently calling us mama and papa, letting us feed him and then feeding us and FULL of mischief.  He likes to tease and laugh.  He is VERY FUN.

Homecoming Part 2- Picking up our Boy from His Creche

9/19/13- 4:30pm

Today was one of those days you just KNOW without a doubt was ALL God.  Last time we came to visit, the pick up happened fast and didn't allow for any transition time.  We got there, they handed him to us immediately and sent us on our way.  He hadn't seen Marc since October and Phin and Ava were there for the first time.  He FREAKED out.  Though he calmed within 10 minutes and wanted to come to me and we had a fantastic visit, I really wanted more transition time when we got there this time.  I wanted him to WANT to us.  I had emailed requesting this and Marc and I prayed, friends and family prayed too.  Honestly, I can't even begin to articulate how God BLEW OUR MINDS today.

First, when we got there, he wasn't shy at all.  He was genuinely happy to see us.  He was playful and immediately let MARC hold him, though him in the air, etc.  (Last visit, it took the entire week for him to let Marc hold him!)  The nannies were delighted to see us, grabbing us for photos, excitedly speaking to Christian about Mama Blanc and Papa Blanc (yes, they really call us white mama and white papa...and I am still not used to it after three previous trips;).

Not only did Sonia allow us a slow transition.  She planned for us to be at the creche the entire day.  Shortly after getting there, the nannies got out Christians book.  He LOVES his book and it is well worn.  He went through it with his friends and then with Marc while I sat next to them.  He actually SAYS "Ava", and attempted "Phin and Chloe".  It was so cool.

In Toddler Adoption it says transition is important.  They recommend whenever possible to have lots of picture of the orphanage, caregivers and friends and for the caregivers to "release" him, tell him "good bye", "it's good to go", etc.

Not only, did we get a TON of pictures...surprisingly the nannies were MORE than happy to oblige (we'll send them their photos with our Director in early October).  They had a Bon Voyage party complete with a sign (yay for something for the baby book) and CAKE!.  We played games, got to see him interact with friends, took photos of where he now slept upstairs, and the caregivers and all the kids said "Goodbyes".

I also had prayed for a chance to talk with Imelda the nanny he's attached to.  I had emailed requesting Sonia make time to translate so I could do this but Sonia didn't seem to understand, but the Lord provides.  A woman for Germany was there picking up her daughter and speak IMPECCABLE English.  She spoke to Imelda in french and translated for me. I got it on video;)  I asked if she had any special memories or words she would like for me to pass on to Christian.  I don't think she's ever been asked.  She at first said, "Sonia will tell you his story".  When I explained she had but we knew that Imelda cared for him and nicknamed him Tresor and we wanted to honor her by letting him grow up knowing she loved him from the first day he arrived, she seemed surprised but touched.  She said she loved Christian very much and she was the nanny he came to when he wanted things like sweets or water  or to hold him, but she couldn't think of a particular memory, but she said he likes games and machines with buttons;)  It was sweet and nice to have on film.  I was also able to verbally thank her for caring for him.

After lunch and the party.  We pack up.  All the nannies kissed him and the kids waved frantically and instead of me picking him up and taking him.  Imelda and Madame Michelle (the woman now in charge of the area (he is in with older kids now, Imelda is in charge of babies, but still sees him regularly) carried him to the car, kissed him goodbye and handed him to me.  ALL the children were at the gate with the nannies waving Goodbye.

He didn't cry, but he does look a little down this evening.  He is still fine with either Marc or I and is eating and rinking which is very good.  He is not pushing us away but is definitely a bit sad.

We were at the Creche from 1030-4.   It was  LONG day and Christian didn't nap because of the party so he fell asleep in the car.  He had lots of time with us and nannies, alone with nannies, playing with his friends.  I could not possible have asked for more.

It HAD to be God...I really believe he did a miraculous work in Christians heart just as we prayed.  He seems to know he belongs with us!  He has never called us Mama and Papa before but today he was calling us Mama and Papa nonstop.  To get our attention, to point to something he wanted.....AMAZING.  I end the day in complete awe and get with peace in my heart, "Isn't this just like God?"

We'll seep early tonight.  After I get Christian down, I have a few tears to shed.  Grateful tears, my heart is so overwhelmed but also sad tears.  There is a boy named Stefan, who has been at the creche since the earthquake.  His caregiver died, his mom was in jail.  He was up for adoption.  His mom was released two weeks ago.  Cannot care for him and has never visited him, but she will not relinquish her rights.  The creche is only for adoptable kids so he will move to an orphanage.  He'll grow up in an orphanage...and is isn't so nice as this creche.  At 18, he'll be turned out to the streets.  Sonia said, "It's heart breaking.  He needs a family and there is little hope for him now."  He's moving to the orphanage next Wednesday.  He is SO sweet and loves affection.  We gave him lots and played with him.  My heart is breaking.  I pray his mom gets her act together, get the help she needs, finds a job and can take care of him and be the mom he needs.  I pray for his precious little heart and that God will intervene to give this kid a future.

Lord, Thank you for today.  I can't articulate my heart.  I just know I need you and you are here and you are taking care of me, Marc, and the kids, and I thank you.  Please give us wisdom to raise all four of them.  It's a huge responsibility and we can't do it without you.  Amen.

Homecoming Part 1- Journal entries on the journey down

September 18, 2011-

We are on our way to Miami en route to Port Au Prince to bring Christian HOME!

I can't even process it all.  I am exhausted, nervous, thrilled, terrified, excited.  How do we even begin to anticipate this transition.

I pray for our family; for Ava, Phin, and Chloe to understand and love Christian even if he's struggling.  I pray for Christian's litle heart that God will prepare him, give him peace, and somehow help him understand all this.  I pray that God will help him to just somehow know in his heart that he is loved and safe even if his head can't understand.

I pray the caregivers are able to send him off and give him their blessing.  I have read that this is so important in a toddler feeling free to attach to their new parents, so God please give him that release from the creche.

Please Jesus, help me sleep tonight.  I know that you love my children more than I and know fully how to care for their hearts.  I trust you Lord.  Give us wisdom to do this and please give us rest.

September 19, 2011-

One the  plane, sitting on the tarmac.  I slept last night, praise God.  I am thankful for a night in a hotel with no more "to do"s to keep me awake.  I cannot believe this day is really here.  We are going to get our son!  WE DO NOT HAVE TO LEAVE HIM BEHIND THIS TRIP!  YAY!

As thrilled as I am to see Christian again, my heart is also heavy.  I am so burdened for him.  He is going to grieve leaving all that is familiar.  I know children our meant to be in families and I know he will be loved and cared for and will love us, but I feel for his heart in the transition.  It must be so confusing, after all- he has no idea what a family even is!  O Lord, I pray that you work in his little heart.  He may not even know what a family is, but help him to sense he belongs with us in the depths of his heart.  Give us wisdom with how to help him grieve and process.  May our love reach his heart.  I adore this little kid.  I have that in order to give him a future he will experience loss.  He has already lost so much in life.  Please protect him, Lord.

Christian Willy, if you ever read this, know that you are DEEPLY loved.  Every time I think of your nickname, I think of the parable of the pearl.

Matthew 13:45-46New King James Version (NKJV)45 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, 46 who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.

The kingdom of heaven is a treasure and worth our everything.  Your nickname is treasure and you too are worth out everything.  Jesus gave everything for you, you are of infinite worth.  I don't know what God has planned for your life, but we look forward to watching it unfold.  We pray that you will soon attach.  We that you will be "rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Eph. 3:17-19).

My dear son, soon I get to hold you again...forever this time, buddy.

The end of one chapter the beginning of another

I haven't slept well for two nights.  I am sure tonight will be no different.  Adrenaline has taken over my mind and body;)  Tomorrow we depart for Haiti to bring Christian home forever.  I am so excited.  I am terrified.

The last couple weeks have been emotional.  We are filled with excitement and anticipation as we prepare.  I have folded and refolded Christian's clothes.  Phin can hardly contain himself that his roommate is finally coming.  Ava and Chloe have helped me pick out the outfits I should pack.  I have frozen meals and stocked up on everything I can possible think of in anticipation of the first few weeks at home.  We've read blogs, books, and articles on the transition and can't help but wonder if the next few weeks will be joyous or painful.  Our hearts feel fragile and yet full.

I have also been undergoing the same angst I have endured with anticipation of each baby before he or she has arrived,  a desperation to savor the last moments of normal as we know it.  To savor the time I have with Marc and each child before I am stretched thin with transition and caring for one more precious little ones heart.

The kids have all expressed great excitement, but like Marc and I they also have concerns.  What will life be like?  What if Christian is scared?  Will I get enough time with Mom and Papa?  Everyone is still a bit fragile from the move and chaos that followed.  Reserves are still empty and so we are all learning to look to Jesus; we are being reminded whether the storm comes in a physical sense or emotionally, He has the power to calm the storm and bring peace.  The blessing of the move for the kids is great compassion for what Christian will lose and grieve.  They still have days they miss Sheboygan and friends.  We've talked a lot about what Christian is leaving and how he will feel and they have great empathy.


Last weekend, we did a "Babymoon" as a family.  With our whirlwind of a summer, we had to cancel our vacation, so we did a minivacation downtown Chicago, living it up in the city, knowing that for a few months or more we'll be home bound.


On Friday night, we went to Grand Luxe Cafe for dinner.  It was right across from our hotel and Marc and I have always love the food.  The kids had just found our we were spending the night in the city.  I think the hotel and city lights would have been enough for them.  They were thrilled;)

Dinner was yummy, as always, but they also had a super fun "decorate your own cupcake" dessert.  The kids were messy and sticky...and we loved it;)

It was a bit hard to get to sleep.  The kids kept wanting to look out the window at all the lights and mommy had forgotten to pack not one but TWO kids' sleeping things.  ARGH;)  They did finally settle down and I found I was so excited about the next day's surprises that I had trouble sleeping.

We got up in the morning and told them we were going to breakfast and that Ava and Chloe could each bring a doll (I had packed both Ava's American Girl dolls) and Phin could bring his stuffed animal.  We started walking to breakfast. They got excited about lots of things along the way.  When Ava noticed the American Girl store, she begged to stop and look in the windows.

As they were oooo-ing and ah-ing, Marc slyly said, "I am hungry let's see if they have things to eat here."  Surprise number 1- Breakfast at the American Girl Cafe;)

Ava was shocked and delighted.  She has always wanted to go and in fact has been saving money for two years.

Phin had a REALLY hard time with all the PINK.  He was miserable;)

Chloe kept making fun of Phin's grumpies;)

Heart pancakes and flower fruit:)

Ava's favorite breakfast happens to be Eggs Benedict and it was on the menu...the girl was flying high as a kite;)

The waitress managed to make Phin smile when she brought him an unfrosted cookie (ours all had pink frosting) and a mouse dirt cup MINUS the flower;)

Then Phin and Marc headed to the Lego store (picture to be inserted later;) and the girls and I went to watch Ava spend her hard saved money.

First stop, the hair salon.  That hard earned money was precious and Ava handled the sales women with ease.  She asked how much everything was and refused everything but the simplest hair style. ;)

and it turned out great;) 

She had saved up $200 and ended up spending $57;)  She got her dolls hair done, a pair of glasses, and the medical set.  I was proud;)

We found Papa and Phin and headed out to the next surprise...Navy Pier.

They loved the Ferris wheel and seeing the city from the air.

Our last family photo without Christian....soon our whole family will be together!

Marc and Ava rode the swings.

Phin, Chloe, and I rode the Carousel.

Then we went to the children's museum.

They have a pet place...heaven for a certain three year old!



Yep, this is about as good as picture I was able to get of our very active little guy;)




Ava hasn't played here since she was Chloe's age...so I really enjoyed watching her in areas I took her too as a tiny tot;)

It was so nice just to play, laugh and be together.

I spent the entire week in preparation.  On Thursday, wonderful news, broke the routine.  My niece Zoe was born;)



On Friday, Hannah, a dear friend arrived.  She used to babysit the kids in Sheboygan and they adore her.  She will be staying with the kids this week and then remaining with us for about a month to help with the transition.  She's been a big help.  We spent last weekend showing her around, recovering from colds we all got and just enjoying each other.

Rainy Sunday called for family nap time...why not do it in a fort;)



Monday I took pictures of the boys completed room.  Soon, a precious boy will be sleeping in his bed.



Monday night, I couldn't sleep.  I was thinking of a million things I'd forgotten and aching for more time with my kids.  I prayed much of the night and made a decision.  Instead of to dos, I would spend Tuesday taking each kid on a mommy date.  That is what we did.

I took Chloe to lunch and she chose to go to Chili's.  She wanted to eat "Pizza with Ranch". 

 She was adorable.  We colored a pepper for St. Jude's.

She chatted up a storm and really LOVED the time one on one with mommy.  I think both our hearts were filled with joy.

I took Chloe home and picked up Phin.  I chose his destination cuz I knew he'd love it;)  We went to a place he likes called Colonial Cafe.  We've gone there for breakfast, but though they are known for ice cream we've never had it before.



He was happy we were getting ice cream;)  We talked about the changes.  He is really excited and seems prepared for his new brother.

We didn't just order ice cream.  We ordered "The Kitchen Sink".  TWELVE scoops of ice cream and goodies served in...well, a sink.  It was awesome.  He loved it;)  We laughed and chatted and he told me all kinds of goofy stories.



After school, I took Ava for tea.



We went to Panera for Peach Ginger tea and...

RED VELVET CUPCAKES:)

We ate and then I read aloud to here from the current book we are reading, "The Four Story Mistake".  One of her favorite things is when I read aloud to her.  We also chatted a bit.  She has the hardest time when we go away, so we talked about how she can handle that.  I have a really wonderful seven year old.

Yes indeed, my heart is full.  I am so thankful I threw out "to do"s and got a little time one on one with my kids.  My heart needed to connect one last time before this transition. Needed them to know how adored they are so in the weeks ahead if mommy doesn't have quite as much time with them, they know it's not because I don't want to.  God is at work in each of them and in Marc and I and we walk forward knowing we can't do this parenting thing or adoption parenting thing on our own, but he is so faith.  We are so blessed.  Our family is changing.  After tomorrow, our times together will look really different and there may be lots of growing pains, but God is going to bring us to green pastures and still waters.  We may sometimes feel lost, but we will just keep focusing on him and let him lead the way.  Our hearts have already grown, expanded, been miraculously touched by a little boy name Christian Willy...can't wait to see what's next.