Tuesday, August 24, 2010


I remember being so anxious for Ava to call me "mommy" for the first time. When she actually said it, I thought my heart would jump through my chest. It was confirmation that she KNEW me, that she "got" the special bond we shared. Hearing "mommy" for the first time from Phin was equally exciting. Before then, you know they like you and you realize that you are the one they look to to be soothed, comforted, etc, but something about hearing them call you their mom is just amazing.

Why is it then, that four short years later, I would give anything NOT to hear "mommy" for just one day. What was once a long awaited word, is now said in my house thousands of times a day. They no longer wait for me to respond before repeating it; in fact sometimes I think they say it when they are trying to fill dead space- "mommy, mommy, mommy". I lay in bed at night and in the stillness their calling still echos in my mind. AH!

I love my kids, I do. I am thankful that they love me and like me to boot, but really do they need to call me for EVERYTHING? Do they need to tell me EVERY thought that goes through their little heads?

I am trying hard to listen despite my annoyance. Someday they won't want to talk to me, I am told, so I am trying hard to set the stage now to let them now I want to listen to them...hope they don't see through what is some days (today, for example) a complete act.

1 comment:

  1. feel you on this one...and I only have one that speaks :)