Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Do I Look Taller?

I've grown. Yes indeedy, I realized today that I've grown (at least in my view;) We have a busy, family-filled weekend ahead; and I am not running around like a chicken with my head cut off and forcing my husband to do the same! Somehow in the last three years, I have gone from being an overachiever in re. to home management, events, and hospitality to being a simple achiever. At one time I would have been freaking out if my home was in it's current shape and my Mother-in-Law was arriving tomorrow; instead I sit typing my blog. I am proud of this change.


I don't think I have crossed the line into under-achievement, but I do think I have accepted my new reality. I have very limited time and quite frankly, I have limited energy. I have two children that need their mommy. I keep a clean home. I do my best to keep it organized and orderly, but it isn't perfect. Tomorrow my Mother-in-Law will arrive and my cleaning lady comes on Friday morning...so the MIL will see dust bunnies in the corners and scuff marks on my kitchen floor; she'll still love me and still adore her grandchildren.

The "old" me would have been freakin' out because my refridgerator should really be cleaned. Who knows what is baked on to the bottom of my oven, and let's not start to talk about the disorder in some of my cupboards. The "new" me simply has taken note, wished they were perfect, and shrugged her shoulders. Those things will get done at some point, hopefully before Phin starts Kindergarten, but let's face it, the "necessities" take all my time and energy. My bathrooms are not petri dishes, and my family has clean clothes. The old "me" would be scrambling with baking and meal planning. The "new" me, made a plan; and it includes zero cooking and lots of take out.

My children are healthy and happy; my husband is too. I guess I am more sure of who I am and less concerned about others opinions about that.

Don't get me wrong, I still hope to be hospitable and bless others when they are in my home, but I also know that if my son is crying the entire time people are here, they'll have to help themselves. I can only focus on so many things in life at once and right now, it's almost 100% on my family. My kids are highly needy at the moment, and my husband needs a little lovin' too. I can only stretch so far.

I realized today that I've accepted that, and it's cool. God has me in a great place, and I don't need to try to be here and everywhere else too. I need to do what He has called me to and not add to it. My hope is that when people leave this weekend, they won't talk about the cleanliness of my home but on the love they felt in it.

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