Diaperless Bag

Because Marc was working late last night, we went up to meet him for lunch so that the kids could see him a little bit. We had planned on going about noon, but when Marc called and said he had to meet earlier because of a meeting, I was forced to rush to get out of the house. I "knew" Phin's diaper bag was set because I had packed it the day before, so I just made sure Ava's was adequately filled with water and snacks. I was so proud we made it up to his area by the designated time (2 minutes late, but still...I was proud). As I handed Marc his son to say, "hello!" , Marc said, "ooo, he's a stinky guy." (Let's pause here to take a minute to discuss the fact that I didn't notice. I have a sense of smell and can pick up most scents but since having children I fear that poop has become so frequently smelled it has a permanent residence in my nostrils and therefore I don't register new offenses.) Because our table wasn't ready, I decided to immediately change him in the bathroom.

Ruby Tuesday has this great "Family Restroom", so you have plenty of room to fold down the changing table without blocking the entire restroom for others or have an audience while you deal with your children's bowel movements. Let me tell you, yesterday, I was never more grateful for privacy! Let me forewarn you, this story needs details to adequately describe the events that occurred.

I opened Phin's diaper and had a little chuckle. The odor offender was a very small Hershey kiss still resting between his bum cheeks and the diaper was barely wet. Still, I did what I always do with poopy diapers, I use the front of the diaper to wipe down and remove most of the unwanted material safely into the diaper before wiping. It leaved the clean outside top of the diaper under the bum, while I wipe and then I change to a completely new diaper. I wrapped the diaper up in itself and tossed it into the trash can. I reach into my diaper bag; I could feel no diaper right away. What a pain! "They must be in the bottom". I emptied the entire diaper bag and there were NO diapers, as in ZERO diapers. I think I stood in shock for a few minutes before my brain started to examine it's options.

If my children were normal, perhaps we could do with gobs of TP or paper towel, but I give birth to super bladders. Sometimes they go hours without peeing and then Niagra Falls fills their diaper. I had extra clothes so I wondered if the TP, paper towel and clothing would keep it in well enough to just get a new outfit. But then what would I do if he peed on the new outfit too. There was no maxipad machine, otherwise, I would have had a embarrassing tale for my son's wedding reception. I quickly realized my only option lie wrapped in itself in the trash can.

THANK GOD the trash can had recently been emptied. I had to reach WAY in the bottom but the diaper was in there with one lone paper towel. Now remember the small hershey kiss...it was not compact any longer. My "wipe down with diaper first" technique had smeared it onto the inside FRONT of the diaper. It would be one thing to put poop back down wear it came from, but I couldn't put it on his front- the bacteria might crawl inside and give him a UTI. As this diaper was my only choice I began to wipe...and wipe...and wipe it. Cleaning a disposable diaper just isn't easy, let me tell you. I certainly will make it on America's Funniest Videos if there is a hidden security camera in that bathroom! All the while I am desperately scrubbing my son is chatting and giggling, strapped to the changing station. Thank the Lord, he never "sprayed" me during his lengthy time of being uncovered.

I got MOST of the poo out, but the diaper itself had absorbed some, leaving the diaper a little brown and a little wet from the wipes. I wadded up gobs of TP to protect his pee pee from the poo and I rediapered him in the same diaper. I walked back to the table afraid he might still smell, though my nose didn't pick up said odor. Thankfully Marc took a whiff when asked and we were okay.

I made it home with out further catastrophe and gave my children both baths. I learned a couple important lessons. One- when family is in town, you have no clean idea how many times your child's diaper has been changed; with everyone desperate for a minute alone with Phin, I think he was changed more than needed. In the future I will always check the diaper bag, even if I filled it the day before. Two- when the odor offender is a small piece of poo still lodged in the bum cheeks, do not use diaper to remove. Instead use wipes and check to make sure new diaper is available before messing and tossing perfectly good one. Three- I couldn't help but think about sin as i desperately scrubbed poop out of Phin's diaper. How many times are we desperate to cover up our offense? God's diaper bag is never empty and when we confess and repent he is freely giving clean, dry slates. I wonder how many people were walking around yesterday with "spiritual" equivalents to Phin's diaper state. Gross, uncomfortable messes, when spiritual freedom is freely available!