Thursday, January 5, 2012

Why I am not a Supermom...

I have had a few comments on here, facebook, or in person about how "amazing" I am because of some of the activities I do with my kids.  Everytime someone says, "You are amazing" or "You really ARE a Supermom!".  I feel like an impostor.  I think it is good to celebrate our strengths so I have no problem admitting that I am really good at planning fun things.  As I've mentioned before, it's my favorite part of motherhood.  I put an obscene amount of time and effort into my children's birthday parties.  I don't do it because I think it's expected.  I know they actually don't appreciate it quite yet.  I do it because I LOVE it.  Sure, it gives them a fun day, but there is also a self motivation in there.  I get to craft and create and I love that sort of thing.  It gives me an "excuse" to push other things aside in the name of a good celebration.

The problem with this being what people SEE is that they automatically assume I am a good mother.  Why does this make me a good mother?  If I fail in all other areas, I am guessing my kids would actually resent the parties and silly suppers.  Those are such a small piece of what makes a successful mom.  I am still learning and failing and growing in most areas of motherhood.  I do take great pride in the things I am good at; it helps balance the feelings of failure I struggle with on a daily basis.

After completing my mission statement, the thing that stuck out to me was the need to be INTENTIONAL about achieving what I want to achieve as a christian, wife, and mom.  The silly suppers and holiday celebrations are easy for me to be intentional about.  It's much harder for me to be intentional about pursuing godly interactions with my kids.  I struggle with selfishness and hate that many days I count down precious minutes until bedtime.  I hate that sometimes I'd rather be blogging or on facebook that seizing these precious days with my Itty Bittys!  It's harder to make sure I am pointing them to scripture and taking time to help them understand their hearts motivation.  I struggle with finding myself just focusing on behavior.  Often, when I go before God and let him examine my heart, I have to confess before him and to myself that my motivation for behavior correction is often selfish.  I am strict and that is fine- but when I am motivated by my own convenience or embarrassment, it's wrong.  I struggle with caring more about my children's behavior than their hearts.  I easily lose perspective and need to refocus.  Motherhood for the most part is difficult for me.  I do find it easier over time, I do find myself delighting in it more now than ever, but I have so far to go, such room to grow!

I want to be authentic.  I don't want to over correct and give you the impression that I am a horrible mother.  I know I am not.  I am just a real person- with plenty of faults mixed in with my strengths.  I am on a journey folks and I fall in pot holes on a regular basis.  I honestly sometimes think I am completely unable to raise these children.  I find myself saddened with the reality that no matter how hard I try, I will be imperfect.  I wonder what baggage my imperfections will be for my kids; how will imperfections in our family carry over into their own?  The task can be daunting and if I focus on the task, I can find myself paralyzed.    I am learning daily that the key is not to focus on the task but on the One who has assigned it to me.  If I can keep my eyes on Christ, he gives me just what I need.  He gives me wisdom to speak life giving words, to point my kids toward him, to examine my own motives and behavior.  I am so flawed it's ridiculous...any good that comes out of this home is solely due to Christ's gracious work in my life.  I am no supermom.  I wish I didn't even WANT to be....see the very struggle with being a wannabe is struggling with wanting YOU to think that of me.  I refuse to struggle with that- it's the whole purpose of my title.  I want to authentically tell you I am so far from the supermom.  I am completely unable to be.  Whenever I try to achieve supermom status, I end up failing and even damaging my family in the process.

The prayer of my heart is that you can rejoice with me in my strengths but not compare them to your weaknesses...cuz then you'll find me comparing your strengths to MY weaknesses.  That only results in us all feeling insignificant and inferior.  Instead let's journey and learn from one another and just be honest...we are all flawed beings desperately in need of grace.  Let's rejoice in one another successes and support one another in our weakness.


  1. I appreciate this on so many levels because I know how much I often put you in the "super mom" category, which I know you don't like :) It is just simply that you excel in areas that I don't and that's OK! By God's grace and His grace alone, both our kids will hopefully turn out well. I appreciate your authenticity and I'm sure many others will too! You're the best!'re terrible! or just you..ha ha!

  2. Great post Kimmy! I LOVE your authenticity...this is really what moms need-transparency. We all have our own share of guilt and feelings of inadequacy, the last thing we need is to only see each other's best. I know this will be encouraging for many moms! Karla

  3. Amen sister, Amen....let's continue this journey together! Love you!

  4. good for you. besides, after a while, i can't imagine how ANY mom has the energy to try to give the impression of being a makes me want to go take a nap just thinking about the effort that would take, since it's not true of any of us!
    in fact, i'm not even a supercommentmaker...i've tried to publish my comment three times, forgetting to type in the letters that allows me to publish! MORE COFFEE!!

  5. Thanks for your honesty as usual, Kim. Just the fact that you reflect this way and understand/confess your weaknesses is encouraging.