My 12 days of Christmas

In honor of my friend Bobbi, here is a synopsis of the darker side of Advent.

1)  Being handed a "rock" only to have Christian announce "POOP!"  after it was in my hand.  Smelling it and finding indeed it was poop.  Never figuring out where it came from.  It was a poop fossil from somewhere.  Lord, please let there be no more.

2)  Arriving at a gas station, narrowly escaping running out of gas only to find my wallet AND money were at home.

3)  Flooded basement bathroom.

4)  Rainbow putty ball down the shower drain...ball that had been removed from the TRASH can, mind you.

5)  Flat tire.

6) Finding this under the recliner the day after my kids were roughly putting the foot rest up and down and we heard a terrible noise....

and still a day later finding this....

Do you think they're important?  We are still avoiding the problem.  The chair seems secure to sit on.  We haven't put up the foot rest.  We like our chair; we are in denial.  Our plan is to tell my Brother in Law to sit back and relax when he visits next week....you know, break him in to how this kid thing really works.

7) One of the garage doors being stuck open...with Marc out of town. 

8)  Forgetting my social workers was coming for our three month post visit at 8 am, until at 11pm when going to bed Marc says, "what time is that lady coming tomorrow?"  oops.

9)  Findly out Ava and Phin have cavities...lots of them and WE, Marc and I, are the one that brush their teeth every night.  The dentist's look of disapproval was enough to make one tuck their tale between their legs if they had one.  Mom of the Year right here!

10)I ran out of Christmas Cards...Turns out my hubby took a bunch for coworkers and such.  I had to quickly reorder from Walgreens because I couldn't wait for shipping.  It was 10pm at night.  I knew I was exhausted to I triple checked the letter on back for spelling or grammatical errors.  Any blog reader knows I am notorious for typos.  Unfortunately I failed to take a good look at the FRONT of the card....oops.

11)  As I was putting on Chloe's coat to go to her Preschool Christmas play, I noticed her hands were exceptionally dry.  No Problem! I had picked up lotion samples when at the doctors last week.  I opened the bottle and poured it on her hand.  It looked like oil.  What in the world?!  I looked at the bottle to find I had poured BODY WASH onto her hand.  We washed her hand and reached in for the second sample and I poured it on her hand.  SAME THING.  Why on why would a mom not check the second time...

12)  It was Thursday, the final day of school before Christmas break was Friday.  I realized as I was packing up Chloe and Phin's teachers gift, I had never stopped at TJ Maxx to get Ava's teacher gift.  It was Candy Cane day and Ava had an after school program.  I realized we needed to leave immediately and stop on the way to pick up Ava so we'd be able to play with our play dough and have dinner.  Marc was out of town so I couldn't go after bedtime!  I told the kids to get on shoes and coats, we had to stop at TJ Maxx.  As we are walking from the car to the store, I notice Phin is tip toeing.  I started to ask him why when I noticed he had NO SHOES.  Why you ask, as I did?  He decided to skip shoes.  The ground was freezing!  We had to get back in the car.  On the way to school, he say, "Mom I have to poop so bad.  I have to go now!"  I made him hold it and when we got to school, I parked.  I somehow made it into the school with him on my back and holding Christian and CHloe's hands...not easy since he kept slipping because my coat was slick.  We got inside, I sent him to the boys bathroom while I ran downstairs to get Ava.  We got back up and the door was propped open, the janitor was cleaning.  Phin wasn't waiting outside, so I said, "Phin are you still in there."  He was.  A minute or two later, he ran out.  This time, Ava held Christian and Chloe's hands and I carried Phin on my back.  His hands were around my neck.  As I started out the door, I smelled poop...like REALLY smelled poop.  I said, "Phin, Did you wash your hands?"  He replied, "Oops, I forgot."  AH!!!  Then I said, "Please tell me you flushed the toilet."  He said, "I didn't do that either cuz that cleaning man made me nervous."   Oh no- the poor janitor not only knows my son neglected to wash his hands, but he found a present in the stall.  I made phin sit with his hand folded and threatened his life if he touched anything.  He went straight to the sink for a handwashing and my coat went straight into the washer.  How will I every survive boys?!