Saturday, January 9, 2010

The grass is just grass no matter where you graze;)

I realized this week that often I look at othier people's life and think "oh they are so lucky". I realized this week, perhaps many of my friends do the same. Contentment is something I want not just SOME of the time, but ALL of the time.

I was talking to a friend on Thurdsay and she mentioned that because of circumstances, she was going to have a babysitter for a few hours in the afternoon and she'd be able to get some stuff done. I said, "I hate you, I am so jealous." (joking, of course, cuz I adore her). She replied, "You get to do that all the time, I never do." The conversation didn't strike me as much until later in the day. See, I don't actually get a babysitter to get time to myself, all the time, but I DID have one regularily this summer. Once a week, I had a girl come so I could get my errands and such done. That is really a luxury- it allowed me the chance to get everything done in a day because everything takes twice as long when you are toting two kids along. I also have a lady clean my house every other week. I clean it in between on the "off" weeks, but it gives me a little freedom to not go crazy if for some reason I don't get to everything.

Those are indeed luxuries. For our family, they are sanity savers. See I often look at this friends life and am envious because her husband works four days a week. She is able to make appointments, do errands, etc. in the middle of the week because he is home. She looks at me and says, "she gets a sitter." My husband leaves at 7am and gets home at 6pm. I have an amazing husband who helps a lot where he can, but really everything is my responsibility because he gets home with just enough time to put my kids to bed. I look at her and think "I'd give anything to have Marc home more." She'd probably looks and says, "her life is easier, she has a bit more money to work with". The truth is motherhood is just hard, it's mundane, and often it feels a bit lonely. None of our lives are easy and none of us get much time for ourselves or for doing our own thing. It's just the stage we are in.

I have another friend who often complains because her husband has to work 6 days a week (he owns his own business). I will say, I do feel badly for her sometimes, my husband is gone today and it DOES feel lonely to be home alone with kids on a Saturday when most are having "family days". She feels that often. At the same time, I often remind her that her husband is home every morning. Sure he is gone on Saturdays and that STINKS, but he also is home until almost 11 every morning and comes home at the same time as mine or a little later. The fact of the matter is, we all are alone a lot with kids. We also love when our husbands are home or when we get time to ourselves.

So I am going ahead and making a New Years Resolution, though it is something I don't usually do. I am going to STOP myself everytime I find myself coveting aspects of someone elses life. The truth is: God has given me MY life and he has blessed me richly. I am VERY fortunate to be able to stay at home. There are such challenges to being a stay at home mom, just like there are challenges to being a working mom. Nothing in life is easy. Life itself is a challenge. You an chose not to marry or have children- then one complains about loneliness. You chose to marry and have children- then complain about the work, the challenges, etc. God I am sure sits up in heaven saying, "if only you'd sit back and realize that your cup runneth over!" So that is my goal- yes, I have hard days. YES, it is exhausting at the moment to care for my 30lb. son when I am pregnant, but YES God helps me through each day and my husband never complains when the house is messy or he ends up with Mac-n-Cheese for dinner. My life isn't super glamorous, but there are so many moments of JOY!

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