I surrender!

I was SO excited when I found out Ava was a girl. I love all things girly. I love pink and lace and ribbons and hearts- pour it on, baby. Having Ava as an infant was like having a live doll. She had gorgeous clothes and sometimes I'd dress her up multiple times a day just because it was so fun to see how cute she was!

What I didn't envision when the ultrasound tech said, "It's a girl!", is that she'd have a mind and will of her own. You just don't picture those things in your dreamy, pregnant state. Now that I am three plus years into having a daughter, I realize that they aren't dolls at all. They have a way all their own and you can dress them up anyway you like, but turn your back and they just might cut their hair and take a marker to themselves.

Ava is a creative little girl. She is artistically inclined like her father- she shocked us by drawing a perfect smiley face at 2 1/2 and for Fathers Day this year, she drew a perfect stick figure on Marc's card (on a side note- she never did that arms coming out of the head thing, at least not that we know of- so she skipped what they say is an "important" development stage; anyone have a clue what that means for her?). She is a dreamer and has an imagination that is just wonderful. She is very different from me in that way, but I know it is important to let her be who she is.

I want her to look like a perfect doll, but I DON'T want her to feel that perfection complex or to have any idea that what other people think matters. I am very proud that Ava is so proficient at at dressing herself everday but everyday I am reminded of how far I still need to go in letting go of my controlling nature. I have chosen to not make battles out of her clothing choices, and I have to consciously remind myself of that choice every day. I have let her wear her ballet outfit, large tutu and all, to the YMCA or her cinderella costume to the grocery store.

This morning, Ava came up with a combination that was a doozy!!! She's done this before but for some reason when she combines a crazy shirt with crazy shorts- I can handle it. Sometimes I can even find it endearing. This morning, however, she put on a Baby LuLu dress. A lovely dress- one of my favorites, that I am obviously a tad too attached to. It is a classic, precious little girl dress. It belongs with a delicate pair of shoes and a ribbon in the hair. She paired it with RED Valentines day socks (WHY DID I LEAVE THOSE IN THE DRAWER?! Valentine's Day was 5 stinkin' months ago!!!). I tried delicately to steer her towards some more fitting footwear, but she exclaimed "I LOVE this just like this." UGH!!!! It took everything IN me not to tell her it looked awful or make her put on a white pair of socks or her sandals. AHHH! I was cringing inside.

I am chalking this up to preparing for her teenage years. Who knows how she'll express herself then! As long as she's not hurting herself, or anyone else, it'll be allowed. She can dye her hair purple or shave it off. It'll kill me inside, but we'll let her do it. Of course, there will also be times when we have to tell her she cannot buy this or that because the item of clothing is to revelaing. It is in those moments, that she'll likely tell me how much I stifle her. In preparation for such a day, I have taken a picture of today's outfit as proof that I do NOT stifle her. Whether or not, she'll agree or just hate me fore letting her got outside of the house "like that" is yet to be revelaed.