Why do I blog?

My blog is unsearchable (supposedly anyway).  I have been told it's hard to find when someone forgets the web address.  I have been asked why I don't make it searchable.  I've been told I am a good writer, that I am funny, or that I have something to share with the world.  I have been encouraged to make it MORE.  I have been asked if I ever considered really investing in this and making some money off blogging.

First, I think we all have something to share with the world.  Second, I am only funny in certain moods; yes, I have many moods.  I have even been known to show up as a melancholy (GASP!) on personality profiles.  I love to write, but whether or not I am good at it depends on whose reading it and how quiet/peaceful it is when I am typing.

I began bloggin because I found that with children afoot my journal was getting neglected.  I love to ponder things in my heart and tuck little memories away.  The problem is that life with young children (at least the vivacious, high energy kind we tend to produce) means living in a constant state of controlled chaos.  There is very little quiet and often when quiet hits, I am usually too tired to pick up a pen and process.  For some reason (I am convinced it uses a different part of my brain), I am able to type in the chaos.  I cannot journal when it is noisy or busy.  I need stillness; I need coziness and perhaps a cup of tea to curl up with my trusted journal and pour out my heart.  I try to make time for my old friend every now and then, but I felt like I was missing moments.  I want to remember good times AND bad.  I want to look back and laugh, cry, smile at what our life is today.  I want to look back with gratefulness for what God has brought us through and blessed us with.  I began to blog, because I wanted a record of this time.  This crazy, fleeting period of life that those who've gone before me say to cherish.  Blogging is one way I am attempting to cherish the NOW.

There are various reasons I am unsearchable.  First, I am no conspiracy theorist, but I do think there are far too many Creepers in the world.  I don't want them looking at my kids.   Second, I am a people pleaser.  I have been fighting it for years and definitely have periods of successes and failures, but I know the temptation to blog for others is too great.  I LOVE when people tell me nice things.  But I don't want to find myself in a place where I am trying to be funny or write eloquantly to feed the people pleasing beast that is always tempted to rise within me.  Authenticity is too valuable.   I am weak and I know it, so I'd rather avoid it, unless God showed me something different. 

I also juggle enough in life without adding one more thing that feels like a commitment;)  Could I make money on my blog?  I am really skeptical.  I love my life, but it doesn't seem that extraordinary or interesting.  Still, even the prospect of having to "perform" feels a bit much.  I've recently revamped our menu plan and in the process of looking for pretty templates I could use, I found a ton of blog planning templates.  My first thought was, "Wow!  People PLAN their blogs;)"  No, Thank you!  Don't misunderstand me, I don't think it is wrong AT ALL.  I just can barely keep up with life as I currently know it.  I don't even know where I'd get the mental energy to plan blogs for a week.  I prefer my random ramblings that only those who know me love.  I type fast and in the midst of playing children, most of the time, spelling or grammatical erros often slip through only to be found in a reread three days later or when a friend sends me an email that say, "You crack me up!  You just wrote...."

Maybe someday I'll get on the more official blogging band wagon, but right now, I know this is about all this mama can handle;)  But SINCERE thanks to those of you who are so complementary!!  Those of you who are reading this thinking, "You suck at blogging, who told you differently?"- LOL, thanks for loving me enough to read anyway;)