May the Words of My Mouth Be Pleasing in Your Sight, O Lord!

In the past few days, God has been tugging on my heart, urging me to take small moments to really listen to what my children are saying. So often, my days with three small children fly by in a whirlwind of exhausting chaos. Time is rapidly moving forward, much more quickly than I could possible grasp. What has really been piercing my spirit the past couple days is how much merit I hold in my children's eyes. Phin often will justify his actions by saying, "My mom (or dad) said..." or "My MOM gave this to me." What he is really saying is "my mom and dad are the ultimate authority". Ava (when focusing) listens intently and participates in conversations about DEEP things and looks at us with eyes of complete trust as we are speaking; she places GREAT authority in our words. Chloe lights up for two people and two people only- Marc and I. To our children, we are the center of the world.

Ava is starting Kindergarten in a little over a week. She's still little, but for how much longer? It won't be too long before my children will struggle with our authority. They will begin to be caught between peer relationships and the family. Indeed, our goal is to prayerfully raise them in such a way that they still honor and respect us, but part of growing up is placing distance between you and your parents. Part of maturing is going through the obnoxious phase of thinking you know it all (only to later realize your parents were smarter than you thought). Inevitably, they will some day, sooner than I am prepared for, question our authority and knowledge base.

I feel like God has given me a gift in these past couple days. Even amid the absolute craziness of life with three kids, I have a new enjoyment over the place I have in my children's life. I feel freedom to enjoy teaching them and speaking to their growing hearts and to relish the opportunity I have right now to build their character. At the moment they are little but the foundation we are laying will be the roots of WHO they become. The responsibility is huge, daunting, and sometimes overwhelming, but it's also an amazing privilege. Right now my children value MY opinion (and Marc's) more than any other. Their primary source of knowledge about the world and how to relate to it comes from me! What a privilege to teach them the scripture and how God, our Creator, intends us to live.

God, once again blowing my mind, knows ME and that I could easily get completed freaked out by this ginormous task. I know without a doubt it's by his grace that I am experiencing peace and joy. I know it's by his grace that I am even able to find quiet moments in my spirit to ponder these things in my heart. I know it is by his grace that he has really lifted my eyes up to Him, where my help comes from. My children right now think I am the ultimate authority and that is okay, because I KNOW the Ultimate Authority. I know their Creator and King. I can look to the future with hope and joy instead of fear because I know that I don't need to be their authority and source of knowledge forever. I know the Perfect source of both and I have the privilege of pointing them to Him now so they can look to HIM forever. I have the joy of showing them how to seek His face, His word, His heart. I can help show them the gift of a relationship with Christ that ultimately will become a personal thing for them and He alone and in doing so release them to the Maker and Keeper of their hearts who is going to be with them every moment of the future. A future that is unknown and uncertain to me but completely exposed to him.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14