I'll never look at Scotch Tape the same again

I had the strangest, funniest phone call of perhaps my entire life today.  I still am laughing about it periodically hours afterward.  I cannot reveal who was on the other end of the call but the conversation went something like this.

Me: Hello
Caller:  Kim! are you every afraid you or the kids will get pin worm?
Me:  No, not at all, I am not exactly sure what they even are.
Caller:  WHAT!?  You are a nurse and you don't know what pin worm is.  It is so common.
Me (laughing):  How common?  I don't know anyone whose ever had pin worm.
Caller:  That is because no one talks about it, but I have been reading about it.  There are 40 million cases in the UNITED STATES, not the world, the United States, every year.  I am freaking out about this.  It is so contagious.  Kids between 5 and 10 mostly have it.  The mom worm lives in the intestines and then she crawls out the butt hole at night and lays eggs.  Kids get itchy butts.  You KNOW kids don't wash their hands, so they itch their butts and boom, the eggs spread to other kids.  It is SO contagious and so disgusting.  I am just sick about it.
Me:  Okay, I know nothing really about it, but now that you mention it, when Ava had an itchy butt they did check for worms.  She didn't have 'em, but really they must be easily cured or people would be talking about it.
Caller:  No one talks about it because who is going to admit they have butt worms?  Oh my goodness!  It is so gross.  Parents have to go into their kids room with a flashlight at night and look for worms.
Me (laughing harder): Wait.  That cannot be true.  I am sure there is a way doctors can test for them.  I cannot imagine a ton of parents being willing to look at their kids butt in the dark with a flash light.
Caller (sort of laughing, sort of in a mild panic):  Well, some do.  I don't think there is a test.  I read that doctors have parents stick a piece of scotch tape over their kid's butt hole at night and when they take it off in the morning if they have pin worms they will find a bunch of little tiny white eggs.  That is not all they find, Kim, sometimes the MOM WORM is ON THE TAPE.  These worms are totally visible to the human eye.  That is disgusting.
Me (laughing almost hysterically):  I cannot wait until you get this.  You are so paranoid about it, I am sure you are GOING to get it because that is the law of nature, Dear.
Caller:   I KNOW and that is making me MORE paranoid.  I had a slight itch on my butt and I stuck scotch tape right on there.  I was so afraid of taking the tape off!!!  I finally worked up the nerve and Thank goodness it did not have a white eggs or a worm!


And that readers is the point in which I completely lost it- lost it.  I was laughing so hard I couldn't speak and thinking about it now I am gasping for air.   Who gets a small itch and then sticks tape on their butt;)?  HILARIOUS, absolutely hilarious.

I am totally shipping my friend a box of scotch tape.;)

This friend DOES read my blog, but I know she'll be too shy to comment since after I calmed down she informed me.  "If I get it, I won't tell anyone either, except maybe my husband cuz if I had it, he'll have to check with scotch tape too.  I wouldn't even tell my mom....and now we are back at the original problem.  People aren't talking enough about this and it is a huge problem!"

OH!  and for all of you rushing out to buy scotch tape.  It IS true that there are 40 million cases, but I've done some reading myself this afternoon.  They are mostly in the south in warm climates....ha ha ha sunny weather folks;)  Also, it is very easily curable.   You just take a pill.  There is an big chance of reinfestation, hence the 40 million cases and not 40 million people.  AND guess what, if you wash your hands, your in good shape.

Good day, good day.  I am totally laughing at said friend's expense, I know, but she's a good sport.  On a more serious note, I know no one talks about it, but seriously, anyone brave enough to comment on their own experience?  I have met no one with this "common" thing....and 40 million does seem like an awful big number.  We do lice checks in school and I looked it up and the incidence of lice is only 10 million a year...crazy.  Now, I am laughing imagining "scotch tape" testing instituted in schools across the country.  I am so immature.