Sunday, September 22, 2013

Homecoming Part 1- Journal entries on the journey down

September 18, 2011-

We are on our way to Miami en route to Port Au Prince to bring Christian HOME!

I can't even process it all.  I am exhausted, nervous, thrilled, terrified, excited.  How do we even begin to anticipate this transition.

I pray for our family; for Ava, Phin, and Chloe to understand and love Christian even if he's struggling.  I pray for Christian's litle heart that God will prepare him, give him peace, and somehow help him understand all this.  I pray that God will help him to just somehow know in his heart that he is loved and safe even if his head can't understand.

I pray the caregivers are able to send him off and give him their blessing.  I have read that this is so important in a toddler feeling free to attach to their new parents, so God please give him that release from the creche.

Please Jesus, help me sleep tonight.  I know that you love my children more than I and know fully how to care for their hearts.  I trust you Lord.  Give us wisdom to do this and please give us rest.

September 19, 2011-

One the  plane, sitting on the tarmac.  I slept last night, praise God.  I am thankful for a night in a hotel with no more "to do"s to keep me awake.  I cannot believe this day is really here.  We are going to get our son!  WE DO NOT HAVE TO LEAVE HIM BEHIND THIS TRIP!  YAY!

As thrilled as I am to see Christian again, my heart is also heavy.  I am so burdened for him.  He is going to grieve leaving all that is familiar.  I know children our meant to be in families and I know he will be loved and cared for and will love us, but I feel for his heart in the transition.  It must be so confusing, after all- he has no idea what a family even is!  O Lord, I pray that you work in his little heart.  He may not even know what a family is, but help him to sense he belongs with us in the depths of his heart.  Give us wisdom with how to help him grieve and process.  May our love reach his heart.  I adore this little kid.  I have that in order to give him a future he will experience loss.  He has already lost so much in life.  Please protect him, Lord.

Christian Willy, if you ever read this, know that you are DEEPLY loved.  Every time I think of your nickname, I think of the parable of the pearl.

Matthew 13:45-46New King James Version (NKJV)45 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, 46 who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.

The kingdom of heaven is a treasure and worth our everything.  Your nickname is treasure and you too are worth out everything.  Jesus gave everything for you, you are of infinite worth.  I don't know what God has planned for your life, but we look forward to watching it unfold.  We pray that you will soon attach.  We that you will be "rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Eph. 3:17-19).

My dear son, soon I get to hold you again...forever this time, buddy.

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