Humble Pie

Dear Target Shopper of Ol'-

You certainly don't remember me; I am quite sure you didn't even notice me, but about five years ago, I saw you shopping at Target.  You had a toddler boy with you and put him in a cart and gave him candy to keep him quiet while you walked around Target.  I was appalled at your actions.  I believe I may have been appalled enough about it to gossip about you to my friend, Bobbi.  I am sure my words were something like, "If you can't discipline your kid, then leave him at home.  What is WRONG with that woman that she sugared up her kid just so SHE could look at clothes.  How selfish!"

I just want to say, I am sorry.  See, at the time, I had one child- a little one year old girl.  She was a compliant child for the most part and an excellent sleeper.  I had no idea how easy my life was.  I spent my time making organic baby food and reading her books.  Books she kept in perfect condition, mind you.  Since then I have had two more children- neither of them fantastic sleepers and certainly farther from the compliant end of the temperament spectrum.  I had no idea the exhaustion that can set in for a mother- oh, I thought I did, of course, but I didn't have a clue.

Last night, I went with my youngest into Hobby Lobby.  She wasn't acting up at that moment, but I know her MO is to usually last about five minutes before some antics erupt.  I really wanted to meander through the store and browse.  I immediately went to the candy section and handed her a box of Mike and Ikes and I thought of you.  See, I thought you were selfish, but really you probably just needed a few moments of peace...and now I realize you were wise.

My first child didn't have sugar or candy until age two.  My third helps her self to my candy drawer.  I am taking a bit of dramatic license, of course, I do feed my kids a healthy diet MOST of the time, but I also realize most of what I worried about when I didn't have battles to pick was insignificant.  My youngest thanks you for your brilliant candy idea.  She enjoyed my Hobby Lobby stroll as much as I did and I left refreshed (a little browsing does THIS mama good, okay?!) and I think a little happier.  Hats off you to mama.  As I look back now, you look like you were probably a really good mom and I am very sorry for judging you just to stroke my own self ego!  Turns out a tiny bit of Candy is okay every now and then- SHOCKER!

Sincerely,
Kim

Dear Debbie-

You don't know this but 6 or 7 years ago, I watched your fourth child, a 3 or 4 year old at the time, walk around with a pacified and I was digusted.  I told my husband, "That will NEVER happen when we have kids."  I anxiously awaited the time to take away my first child's paci.  We made sure she only used it in for sleep and were embarrassed that she had it until 3 1/2.  No one really knew except our close friends, but I worried what everyone thought.

My youngest child is 2 and she walks around with a paci; we haven't even attempted to restrict it to the bed only yet.  Her teeth are fine, she talks up a storm and now I have enough perspective to know she ain't takin' it to kindergarten.  You walked around unashamed and I thank you because really- "who cares!?"  I was a pompous idiot to judge you.  I now realize some kids just need a little help soothing themselves.  No one judges the thumb suckers (or maybe they do- who knows?!).  Why does everyone care if MY kid has a pacifier?  She is developmentally on track and cute as a bug.  A few years into parenting and I realize these things are no big deal; I'd rather take a lesson from your playbook and focus more on shepherding their hearts than meeting other people's standards of the perfect parent.

Thank you for holding your head high and giving me the opportunity to laugh at my own juvenile stupidity and now hold my head high too.

Life is short, battles are many- serenity is worth it;)

I hear your daughter is amazing...so I'm hoping mine will be too.

Blessings,
Kim