Monday, February 7, 2011

Emotional Me

I am a bit emotional this evening. I had a wonderful talk with a friend today about marriage and in meditating on it afterward, I realized I have gotten a little too comfortable. Marc and I have a great relationship and it's taken A LOT of work to get there/or stay here depending on how you look at it. We've been married ten years and this blog couldn't begin to contain all the joys and struggles we've faced during that time. How we both have grown and changed during that time! Marc is far from perfect, but one of the things I so appreciate about him is that he is almost always willing to admit his faults and really strives to work on them. He gets lazy or loses perspective from time to time but when he realizes he's fallen off the horse, he dusts himself off and gets back on.

Lately I've been really tired and critical. He's been stressed at work and I've frankly found the whole thing annoying. Instead of caring for him and the load he is bearing, I've been frustrated that his stress is complicating my life. How selfish!

I've been thinking for a while about doing the 30-day Husband encouragement Challenge.
( I had tried to do it after Ava was born and lost steam. Lately I'd thought a time or two about trying again and committing to following through, yet I hadn't actually taken the time to find it again on the internet. After mentioning to my friend today that I had been thinking about it, I felt like I had to finally follow through;) Already day one is convicting to my current critical self "saying nothing negative about you husband to him or anyone else." I hate to admit that this will be hard for me.

I love to point out when he forgets to take out the trash, leaves an empty toilet paper roll in place, doesn't make the bed, leaves laundry on the floor, etc. All little things I just have to point out that really only serve to kill his spirit. As mentioned in my recent book review, I was recently reminded that if Marc was perfect I'd be the only one in the relationship who was ever wrong!

Because Valentine Day is coming, I recieved an email today from Hearts at Home on love. "Immature love is a noun. Mature love is a verb." Below is an additional excerpt from that email:

  • Love as a noun spent all last week wondering what your spouse was going to do for you for Valentine's Day. Love as a verb spent all last week preparing your expression of love for your spouse.
  • Love as a noun feels despair when you no longer feel "in love" with the person you are married to. Love as a verb understands the ebb and flow of feelings. It focuses more on expressing love than feeling love.
  • Love as a noun demands its own way. Love as a verb works to understand differences and is open to new ways of doing things.
  • Love as a noun finds faults in others. Love as a verb gives grace and forgiveness.
  • Love as a noun expects others to serve them. Love as a verb serves freely.
  • Love as a noun expects to always feel warm and fuzzy and "in love." Love as a verb realizes that often we have to choose to love even when we don't feel like it.
So- I have found the 30-day challenge and I am going to quit being a baby and treating love as a noun. I should know better! I do love my husband and I am going to make sure I start ACTING it out! If you want to join me, let me know. We can hold each other accountable!


  1. I'll join you!! I need a major attitude adjustment in many areas, but this will help :) Thanks so much for your call last week, God knew I really needed to hear from someone after a tough, tough, week :)

  2. I'm game... and starting in the a.m. :)
    Thanks for the reminder.
    I will be praying that we remain encouraged in expressing our love...

  3. I am in too- just printed it out and J's bday is this month- a greta gift would be a more loving (verb) me!!! Thanks Kim!

  4. I think I will link to this on my blog too- hope that is ok- I really want to see if more women want to join us!! Thanks- you confrimed something He has been telling me! Slow learner=me

  5. Are you going to Hearts at Home this year?

  6. Tonya- I don't think I can go in March, but thinking about November. You going?

  7. Love this kimmy! I feel like I should post the "Love as a verb" up somewhere in my house :)Karla