Taking time to Breathe

We spent the last weekend childless in Chicago celebrating a very special friend's 40th birthday. It was...well, it was just wonderful.

I came back home from Christmas vacation geared up for the New Year, ready to take life by horns and conquer the world. Then life happened. Chloe's 6mo. checkup was the day we got back, she was grumpy and feverish from her shots for a couple of days. Then we had three nights of COMPLETE chaos with her. She was screaming, refusing to sleep, etc. The doctor found nothing wrong on a return visit, but encouraged Ibuprofen 'round the clock and advised we keep a close eye. She seemed okay on the Ibuprofen for a couple days, but two days later woke up in the full swing of a then obvious cold. She had the snottiest nose imaginable and her eyes were goopy as all get out. The next few nights became increasingly horrible and I finally returned again to the doctor. I was sure she had an ear infection, but have to admit I was just as sure he'd send me home yet again (after all, I had been sure it was an ear infection at our last visit and her ears were "clear as day"). Thankfully, her ears were indeed infected and we were prescribed antibiotics.

She is feeling better, but here is the thing- this is her 5th round of antibiotics since September. This mean healing ears, but another battle with diarrhea and diaper rash. I sat down and looked at the calendar and my blessed third born has indeed been sick more days than she's been healthy since her older sister started Preschool. I feel so badly for her. Sure, she will probably have an immune system stronger than most in a couple years, but right now she can't get a break. When she's feeling well she is so charming, but most days she isn't- so she's crying, sleeping, or on my hip.

On the advice of a few friends, I took her to a chiropractor and that has seemed to help. We'll keep going, hoping to increase the drainage from her ears and get off this sick cycle. I want to think positive, yet I also need to remember that life is completely out of my control;)

I left for our weekend excited, knowing how desperately I needed a break. I expected to return from our weekend away rested, instead I feel like the small amount of sleep I was able to get only made me realize just how exhausted I am. When I finally relaxed and came off the adreniline rush I've been living through, I realized I am past spent. I do, however, feel refreshed. I had fun. For 36 hours or so, I was able to live life carefree. I was able to sit and talk without having that conversation interrupted. I was able to laugh, to love, to just be. I was able to break through the surface and breathe. What a gift! (And I wasn't even the one celebrating her birthday!)