Anyone else feel that way, too?! Don't get me wrong, we had a fabulous time on the ACTUAL holidays (I have the best family ever!), but the month leading up to Christmas was just crazy. Certainly adding a dog in our mix helped add to the chaos, but I definitely felt like December was rushing by and I was barely hanging on. (We did rehome little Max with a high school friend of mine, by the way.) Shoot- I mailed my Christmas Cards on Christmas Eve and I still owe a few Christmas presents to friends far away;P
I feel very joyful over this New Year. That is unusual for me; typically I find myself a little sad that time is passing so quickly. Right now however, I feel like we are moving into a new season. Chloe is getting older and though things haven't eased up yet, I can see light in our future. I feel like I am under water but now I can see the surface. Soon, I will be coming up to breathe fresh air!
Now, let's be honest this is really probably all about sleep. I just don't do well on sleep deprivation. My mind is lost somewhere in 2006 and my body...well, I don't know how far back I need to look to find that one;) I don't even know if I remember what it feels like to be well rested or to function at normal capacity!
We've always said that we'd probably have four kids, but both of us are feeling like our family may be complete with three. My heart is full, my attention more than taken and we just feel like perhaps God is leading us to keep our family to five for now. I have embraced this season of very young children and surrendered to the utter chaos it entails, but now that it is looking like it may be moving forward, I feel quite joyful;)
I love having babies. I love the cuddles. I love nursing. I love chubby cheeks and rolly polly thighs. But I also am really excited to not have a baby on my hip anymore. I am ready to be more active as a family and not be tied down by nap schedules.
Before I get comments, let me clarify that I AM open to whatever God has for us. Children are a blessing and I would never turn my back on blessings he wanted to bestow on us. Adoption may be in our future, as well. At the moment, however, I feel emotionally in a different place than I have been with my other two kids. I feel like he has my heart in a new place; I just feel like the season of infants is over. It's time to pass that torch and I am so okay with that. I am ready for new adventures. I love my kiddos and I am exciting to see them grow and learn. (and YES I AM savoring the chaos of TODAY, as well:)
2010 was a FULL year with SOOO much change- new job for Marc, new house, move to new area, and new child. I am pretty sure all of those things are on the list of "top most stressful changes." God was good to us. The year was full, but he provided WAY above our expectations. We experienced much closeness and joy. What should have strained the family relationships, only strengthened them. Yes, we look back with thanks.
We look forward with hope and expectation. Here's to 2011 and a God who already knows what is holds!
Posts
Love the new blog makeover! very cute! can't wait for you to reach your season of operating at "full capacity" :) you will have earned every minute of extra sleep....soon you'll be there! :) Karla
ReplyDeleteI love the blog makeover! It looks so "professional." Hang in there! You have a better attitude about 2011 than I do. I'll admit I've had quite a few grumpy moments in the last 3 days!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kimmy- great reminder about the life stage. As I am approaching Eliza's 1st birthday I feel SO SAD that we won't have a tiny one anymore, so it's really good to remember that I can be joyful that this will be a new, active, creative, sleep-filled (!?) stage where I can be more available to my kids than I have been in while in the trenches of the first year of babyhood or exhaustion of pregnancy.
ReplyDeletePraise God for all He is doing in your lives! exciting to see where 2011 takes you. Love to you all
ReplyDelete