Happy Birthday, Munchy!

Today is my baby boy's FIRST BIRTHDAY! Where does time go? So cliche, I KNOW!, but seriously, one can't help but be amazed that he is already one year old. He is on the verge of toddlerhood! AH! Am I ready of a toddler boy?

It's amazing to think back over the ups and downs of the past year. First, I love and hate to think about his birth. The actual labor wasn't bad, but in transition I got the chills and was shaking uncontrollably. I was literally vomitting repeatedly as I was pushing. I have never in my life felt so helpless. I couldn't tell if I was pushing effectively or not and I was quite sure it would never end. When he finally did come out, it seemed like forever until I could hold him; I cried as they held him up and couldn't reconcile their "he is a BIG baby" comments with how tiny and helpless he looked to me;)

Finally, he was in my arms. Is there anything more precious than holding that little baby for the first time? AHHH! I could die just remembering. That little helpless, wide eyed face taking in his mommy's face with wonder and amazement. SERIOUSLY, I am not a person who become easily verklempt, but this is one thing that brings tears to my eyes repeatedly. It wasn't long before they had to take my little blessing away because my ol' uterus wasn't contracting. (Let's insert note here- if this ever happens to you- be prepared for a long haul. The medicine they give you to contract causes not just the uterus muscles to contract but the intestinal muscles as well. You have to just sit on a bed pan while water runs out your bum. I cried. It was awful and uncontrollable and again I thought it would never end. If you experience this, all I can tell you is that is does end....eventually.)

The first few months of Phin life were the hardest thing I have ever experienced. I look back now and I have no clue how I survived. In hindsight, perhaps he was colicky- I had to hold him much of the evening; the sling became a good friend. The nights were the true test of endurance. He woke up repeatedly. I have no idea how I functioned- solely by the grace of God. About 4 1/2 month in, I literally ended up weeping on my knees in the living room as I listened to him cry begging God for mercy and an answer. Rose, the "sleep nurse", was an answer to prayer. I was prepared to pay her a LOT of money, but instead FOR FREE, she spoke with me over the phone and gave use some things to try. Soon- no more boob for baby at night, no mommy either. My dear husband took over night time duty and he apparently wasn't so appealing. Thank God my baby boy learned to sleep. I learned God really is there in the trenches.

Today my son is pure delight. He's still a mama's boy, which drives me crazy when I need to get something done, but otherwise he is just a charmer. He has a smile that is contagious and a delightful, silly personality. He's pretty easy going. He sleeps like a CHAMP!!! He is huge and strong. I am so proud of him. He is walking more and more, though still predominantly crawling, and he is a climbing. Tonight he took a dive off the bed before Marc could catch him and I just know we have many such incidents in our future. He does NOT sit still and is curious and persistent if he sees something he finds interesting. He is fearless. We will probably be in the ER a time a two;)

We didn't do much to celebrate his birthday today- he'll have the little party and cake on Saturday. He got Mac and Cheese for dinner, which he loves and we sang to him. Ava drew him a picture, but he's still clueless. The highlight of his day was chasing the vacuum cleaner (he LOVES to try to climb on it while we are vacuuming). Yessirree, he has no idea today is a major milestone, but we know. We have not just survived, we are thriving. We could every day he's been in our lives a blessing- even the sleepless nights. As with my daughter, my children constantly teach me more about myself and about God and I look forward to spending many many years with this little boy!

Thank you, God, for Phineas Sinclair.