Confession

I hate to admit it but being in the first trimester of pregnancy is like having 12 weeks of PMS, atleast that is how it always is for me. I find myself easily anxious, easily annoyed, and very irritable. This doesn't bode well for those who are forced to live in the same home as I live in. My poor husband is very helpful at the moment, but forbid the moment he eases up or doesn't finish a job. I get annoyed. I should just be thankful that he did the dishes, right? Instead, all I see is the nonstick pans he sets to "soak". Granted this little habit of his is annoying after nine years of marriage, but a pregnant Kim has trouble just letting it go. I find that one little jab slipping out from my lips. I should just wear a sandwich board for the next few weeks that says, "I am sorry."

My children fare a little better externally. I don't say mean things to them, though I HAVE found myself raising my voice at Ava. (Her lack of listening really gets my dander up. OOOOOH Boy!) For the most part though, they don't realize that I am flippin' annoyed by them at various points in the day. This evening, my poor son was not feeling well. He got a couple shots yesterday and so he's running a low grade fever today. On one hand I do feel great compassion for him, but after carrying around a whiny 30 lb. one year old for a couple hours, one can't help but count the minutes until bedtime. It was work getting him down tonight and I'm pretty sure I may have uttered "Good Riddance" as I left his darkened bedroom.

I think God knows I can't handle much at the moment because fortunately all three family members have taken turns annoying me and they have also taken turns charming me. Should they all gang up in annoying mode I might lose it. I am just not a nice person at the moment. I can't help but think of the passage in Romans where Paul talks about "doing the things he doesn't want to do." I want to be carefree and joyous yet I find myself tired and annoyed. Oh the joys of sinful nature;P I am weak and there's no denying it at times like this.

OH family, forgive my weakness. Thank you for you help, Marco and for your total obliviousness to my discomfort, Ava and Phin:). I'm prayin' for more strength to bite my tongue and find more joy in the chaos. In the meantime, we can adopt the motto "This too shall pass." It applies to my nausea and exhaustion as well as my irritability, but it also applies to the added work for Marc and the mommy who has a little less interest in playing pocket dollies and blowing on bellies.