This too shall pass...all too quickly, I might add

I talked with my sister, Karla, this morning. As always, we had a good chat. She is relatively new to this motherhood thing (7mo. old) and having some realizations and struggles that I have also have had as a mom and some I still have.

Time is no longer our own and motherhood can feel very isolating. Like me, Karla has a little one that can't do without her naps. When your kid naps two or three times a day, it's hard to leave your house long enough to get anything done or to see anyone. That can feel isolating. It's easy to look at someone else and see them out and about with their kid all the time and start to wonder if your missing something. Did you inadvertently become the mom who let's her child dictate too much? Are you too uptight? Do you need to loosen up? Someone can say they miss you or ask you where you've been and send you into "defensive" mode and an internal struggle to somehow make logic of the craziness that has taken over your life.

We are so critical of ourselves! What if the other mom needs to tighten up? What if her kid is actually severely overtired and she selfishly would rather be out having fun than giving her kid a nap? What if children are actually all different and some need more sleep than others?! What if her kid actually IS fine without a nap?

Some of these questions get a bit easier when you have child two or three. You realize that indeed children are all different and some do better missing there nap than others. You also realize, however, that moms are all different too. Some do better sticking to their routine. Some, like me, like their children on dependable schedules so they can predict (to some extent) the day and evening. Marc and I put all our kids in bed at 7 so we have the evening to ourselves. We have friends whose kids stay up much later. Guess what? Surprisingly, they are all alive and well;) In truth, sometimes I need to relax and sometimes others need to establish a bit more order in life. We are all learning and making mistakes...but we also all have successes!!

The truth is a) we need to give ourselves credit and permission to be the mom's we feel called to be and b)we need to just realize sometimes motherhood IS isolating. Right now, I have a one year old dealing with severe ear infections. I can hardly put her down in a day. It's exhausting and yes, isolating. If she's running a fever or sick at all, I have to keep her away from other kids. When she is crying nonstop it's hard for me to leave her or have a conversation, even on the phone. I've missed many a play date or date to stay home with her. That's motherhood. I can't control it. I talked to another friend potty training. That is yet another time where you are kind of stuck at home more than usual in order to give your kid success at mastering this very important skill. Motherhood is filled with sacrifices. Sometimes they can feel overwhelming. Sometimes you sacrifice so much you hardly recognize your life. But with each passing year, you realize time is flying by and those hard moments get fewer and farther between. Sometimes old struggles are simply replaced with new ones. In the end, we just have to hold our arms and hearts open and surrender to this crazy path of motherhood and trust God as he refines us in the process.