Saturday, August 31, 2013

What to Expect at Homecoming from us;)

In just three short weeks, we will be bringing Christian home forever.  I cannot begin to explain how surreal that feels after waiting so long and yet I also know we are blessed.  There are many a family who have been waiting three times as long to get their babies home and are still waiting.  We are thankful.

As we prepare for his homecoming, we are nesting, preparing.  His bed is made; his drawers are filled with clothes.  We have diapers, shoes, books, toys...waiting for their owner to slip into them. 

We are also preparing our friends and family who we know probably haven't read the hundreds of books on adoption transition that we have;)  Some are very familiar with "rules" of transition as they've gone through with other friends or family.   As we look ahead, we are preparing for a difficult transition and hoping for an easy one.  There are recommended "rules" we will be following, knowing we can always ease up if Christian seems to be doing well.

If you haven't though much about adoption, your reaction is probably much like one we hear on a daily basis.  "Christian is so lucky you are adopting him."  Logically, we think a kid without a family is getting one, and it sounds like a blessing.  But we don't say this to biological kids, and they are blessed to be in a family too;)  The truth is Christian is an orphan; and that is a trauma that occurred early in his life and affects him on an emotional level very deeply. 

Christian may not FEEL blessed/lucky.  It doesn't "FEEL" like a blessing to be an orphan.  It doesn't "feel" like a blessing to leave every familiar sight, smell, sound, and person and come to a new place, especially when you may not understand what is happening.  We have done our best in preparing him, by visiting, leaving the book with pictures and with our recorded voices; and his crèche has regularly used these with him and talk of us.  He will adjust; he has shown very good signs of attaching to us on our visits, but he's never been adopted before.  It will be overwhelming and scary at times. (If you don't know what to say, just tell him he is loved;)

For this reason, we are not having a welcoming party at our home.  We will keep home a safe haven for now.  A place where it is just the family, and he can warm up to us first before others.  In the beginning, we will do all Christian's care.  We will feed him, change him, hold him.  Christian hasn't had parents before and though he does show attachment to a particular caregiver (a HUGE benefit in the long run for us), he is used to many adults helping him and doing things.  We want to teach him that we are his providers, his security, his safe place.  We want to continually provide for all his physical needs so he will begin to trust us with his emotional and spiritual ones. 

We won't leave him right away, and when we do it will be for very short times.  He needs to learn we won't abandon him, and when we leave, we come back.  Because we will be keeping him home as much as possible, it might seem like we've dropped off the planet for a while.  Please check in on us; ask us how we are doing.  It can be a very hard and isolating time for families.  Please call; leave messages; send notes.  If we don't get back to you, pray for us.  It is probably because we are still in survival mode.  In that time, we are told we need to be reminded by friends that though we are isolated, we are not forgotten.

We ARE welcoming people to meet us at the Airport when we arrive.  We have been apart of an airport homecoming, and it is a really amazing thing to witness a child you've prayed for REALLY COME HOME.  We want to honor your part in our story.  The support and prayer we have been given is humbling and has carried us through.

If you haven't been to a airport homecoming, it might be different than you expect.  Christian may not smile at you.  In fact, knowing him, he'll probably hid his face in my shoulder;)  It's kind of like when you visit a newborn at a hospital.  The visit is short and you may or may not hold the child, but you are welcoming them to the world.  Bring signs, watch our kiddos welcome him into the family, see our grandparents and aunts and uncles meet him, meet him, see him...he's real, he'll be here;)  We will probably want lots of pictures and hopefully grab a stranger to do a group shot;)  But we won't be there long, for Christian's sake.  We will greet you all, give hugs and then take our baby home.

Trust us, we'd LOVE to sit and tell you all about our trip, but because we want to keep Christian feeling protect, safe, and secure,  we want to get him to home as soon as possible.  :) 

Finally, I will endeavor to blog, but from watching other people fall off the face of the earth once the kid gets home, I may not get to it;)  I will give my sister "writer rights" and ask her to post updates and pictures on here for me if I find I can't get to the task. 

Again, we are so honored by how many of you have followed our story and prayed for us.  We really want to continue to update you; we want you to continue praying.  In many ways, our journey is just beginning.  This has been an absolutely heart changing, mind blowing, miraculous road to walk, we are so blessed.


  1. You gave such a good explanation about the being "blessed" perspective! I am so excited for you all... the joys, the struggles, how the Lord will work in ways we have yet to imagine! Love you!

  2. Beautifully, eloquently, delicately said, friend! Much love to you as you anticipate and prepare.

  3. well said. We are blessed to support you all in this!!