Yesterday was 9/15. THE DAY. It came and it went. People asked me at church this morning how I was...the answer- "fine". I meant it sincerely.
Earlier this week I read a simple statement a friend posted on Facebook. She adopted 12 or so years after being told she and her husband could never have a baby. Two years later a miracle happened- they discovered she was pregnant. They've since been trying to adopt again and been waiting and waiting. A couple weeks ago they were stunned to discover she is miraculously pregnant a SECOND time. She is savoring every vomiting moment. She commented that she can't believe all she has to do is sit back and God takes care of all the work because with adoption their is so much paperwork and deadlines, etc.
It got me thinking. I'm done with all the paperwork and deadlines unless Christian doesn't come home before they expire next June. I am COMPLETELY out of control. I need to sit back and let God take care of all the work.
Yesterday, 9/15 was the day IBESR was closing (for a few weeks and then it's a bit uncertain what the new law will entail). Yesterday was also the four year anniversary of some friends of our losing their son Desmond. He should have been one of Phin's first friends, but he was stillborn. Emily carried him for 39 weeks and everything was fine. But one knot in the umbilical cord and he was gone. I'll never forget that day though we certainly weren't their closest friends. I was 36 weeks pregnant with Phin and had suffered two miscarriages between he and Ava. God ordains life and sometimes for reasons we'll never quite understand he calls babies home. All our hopes/dreams/plans can do nothing to add a breath to anyone's life. It truly is in the hands of God.
My friend Kim lost an adopted daughter. A few months before bringing her home, they got a call that she'd had a seizure, and was not well. They immediately flew to Korea and were with her as she died. She was supposed to be completely healthy! Instead of bringing her to the USA, they held her as she died and buried her in her homeland.
My friend Rox was so close to getting her referral when a law changed and her hopes were dashed.
Life is full of heart aches and uncertainty and no amount of crying or worrying can change that. Each day with my children is a gift. Each healthy breath they take a gift. If God wills for Christian to come into our home, nothing will stop that. Not changed laws or lost paperwork. God is sovereign and holy and all knowing. We don't know that this will be easy, we know God has led us on this journey and we know we only see dimly- he knows all and is in all. He promises his presence, guidance, and peace. We've been through trials, losses, and one thing I know in the depths of my soul is that I can trust God 100%. His timing and HIS way is perfect. This is know for sure.
I had peace this morning. I had peace yesterday. We may walk a long hard road, but we know God will be glorified and he is able to do immeasurable more than all we can ask or imagine. He led us to adopt. He provided Christian's referral and until he closes a door we continue to walk forth in faith. We've felt led to pray that Christian will be home by Christmas. We don't believe that is a promise, but we believe he is asking us to stretch our faith and pray. That is what we will do- pray and believe. God is able. Because he hasn't shown otherwise, we continue to believe Christian is ours and will officially join our family some day.
That being said....as I sat down to blog, I quickly checked email. Guess what?! I know- you can guess. We recieved Christian's file number. We are officially in the Social Services System in Haiti. We are now in the disspensation process. That means our file should be or will soon be at the presidential palace in Haiti awaiting his approval. (From there we'll move to the court process.)
God is good. We are thankful for the file number, but more thankful for all the reminders this week that is in control. All we will do is pray and sit back and watch him build our family and bring our son Christian home in his perfect time.
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Kimmy, you're writing is so amazingly beautiful, but your heart is even more so. I LOVE when God does that. He gently teaches you something, gives you quiet contentment, and then gives you the desires of your heart. As I was reading your blog, even before I got to the answered prayer part, I was choked up by what He did for you. :) Thank you for the reminder. -Kristin
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ReplyDeleteOH MY!!!! God is good, so faithful!!!!! You are spot on, friend. He stretches, for sure, but He provides! WOW! I'm so excited - goosebumps!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHow thankful we are to share this journey with you, as it regularly points back to God's gracious love and faithfulness. So thankful for all the ways we've seen it on display through you guys. Rejoicing! XO
ReplyDeleteI hope my statement about pregnancy being "less to do" didn't offend? Both are in God's control, from day 1. And honestly, the whole process of endless paperwork wasn't hard for me, it was normal. And the busywork helped me feel like I was accomplishing something. Our path was infertility to adoption, which I think might pack a little more mental baggage? I'm still in a state of shock that at the end of this pregnancy, someone is going to just give us a baby. Without counting our outlet covers, without a psych eval, without tons of paperwork, without government approval. We just get to take it home?
ReplyDeleteMy post was prompted a little bit by some comments made innocently, but ignorantly, by another implying that adoption is the "easy way" to have a child. (if you didn't just spit coke all over your computer screen, I commend you.) In my hormonal state of mind I *may* have over-reacted? ;o) Please forgive me if any of it grated you, I did not intend that at all.
The wait ♥ I remember the wait you are in, and mine was so much shorter. You are on my heart and in my prayers daily. *All* babies come from God. And I love seeing how His hand is moving to bring you yours! ♥
I'm so thrilled for your news!
What great news - it is true - God is the God of the details and the big ideas and all the things in between. We do our part, but ultimately, it's His ship. Bless you for listening to His call to adoption and bless you as you wait!
ReplyDeleteSo excited to hear your news. We eagerly await to hear the day you are able to finally bring home Christian. There is nothing more beautiful than a family bringing home new life. You havve an amazing heart.praying for ya'll!
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