A war on the homefront

We just returned from vacation and I am sure I will post happy pictures and details of our really wonderful ski trip that turned into a hiking trip when Lake Placid was hit with weather in the upper 70s.  Yes, vacation tell-alls are nice but today I have a bit of venting to do.

It's always hard to return to life after being away; hard to not just pass out on the couch, hard to force yourself to unpack and get back into the routine.  One might think time away lends to extra patience, endurance, grace- NOT SO in the life of Kim Aneed.  Perhaps it's annoyance at being back in the world of "to do"s, perhaps I am just tired, but I was havin' no patience today.  It was a war up in here.

Watching TV yesterday, Marc and I were so excited by our up close look at the brilliant red cardinal outside our living room.  How funny that the cardinal kept flying into our window.  Wait?  Maybe not funny?  We started to wonder if something was wrong with the fella.  I wondered if something was wrong with his wings.  Marc wondered if he was trying to get inside for help.  I dismissed both options when I went out and he flew away.  Then I had to wonder if the poor fella was hungry.  I got out dried raspberries and laid them out near where he'd been flying.  Sure enough he returned, but he didn't touch the berries, he just kept flying at the window.  Silly bird.

This morning, I was even sort of excited to see him still there and I thought the kids would LOVE the up close and personal look at the bright red feathered creature and sure enough they did.  Phin even had me running to the window when he said, "I know what's wrong, mommy, he has eggs on the deck."  I ran to get a look and erupted in laughter at the sight of my silly dry raspberries.  I guess when you are three, it makes sense for a red bird to lay red eggs.

Those were the good moments...by 10 am, the stupid cardinal was still repeatedly flying into our window.  My children were OVER the up close and personal view.  Bird poop covers the area of the deck underneath his antics.  Dried raspberries remain untouched.  I started to wonder if he could break the window or would the window eventually break his beak.  Poor bird.  I don't want a stupid bird with a broken beak living on my deck forever- I obviously don't know what to feed the fella.

I looked it up online and discovered, he is "protecting his territory" by attacking his reflection, which he doesn't know is his reflection- to him it is another bird (SEE!  told you he was stupid;).  The website recommended drawing the curtains, which might work if we had any sort of coverings on our windows.  Next, they recommended soaping the window.  I got out in the bitter cold and fully soaped my window- not leaving a crack of reflective glass.  I felt like a humanitarian- no a birditarian.  No longer would this bird be in danger of a damaged beak, I had saved the day.

BUT NO- the little fellow moved onto another window!  NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My children started to get dramatic and were sure he was trying to get in to hurt them.  They are probably afraid of cardinals for life.  I started to get desperate, but who wants to go around soaping their entire home.  Eventually that mess needs to get cleaned up, and it isn't as easy as you'd think.  Without much else by way of resources, I taped up paper towels.  And yes, he left that window alone.  We had peace for about 20 minutes.

But the little terror was not done!  This birds territory must be flippin' gigantic because he moved onto a third window around the corner on the side of the house.  I am seriously annoyed and at this point I give up.  I don't care if he breaks his beak.  I am tempted to buy a BB gun and set him straight.  Constant window pecking is really grating.  Territory was moved today, but it wasn't the birds!  WE ended up moving  to a different part of the house.  The stupid bird is dominating our existence.  He totally won today, but I am sure plotting for tomorrow.  We're going to look like an abandoned building, I am gearing up for paper towelin' windows left and right.  I may even clean up the silly raspberries....in the meantime I am half hopin' a cardinal predator smells them and takes care of my little red problem overnight!