Hurt Feelings

I have been doing pretty well sickness wise. Yesterday was a horrible day and I am always exhausted but overall, doing much less of the vomiting and such- which is to me the worst of it. This morning, however, I was in the kitchen making my kids breakfast and out of no where I start gagging and had to make a mad dash to the bathroom. Just at the point of my initial gag, Ava asked me a question. I, of course, could not respond. She asked again louder and then ran after me to the bathroom chatting away. It actually took her quite a few seconds to realize I was hurled over the toilet and her initial question (to be honest I completely forget what it was) turned into, "Mommy are you throwing up?" She must have asked me that five times and then moved on to, "Mommy remember when I threw up in my bed before?" and then when she still didn't get an answer proceeded to tell me that I was hurting her feelings.

Once I collected myself, I was able to give hugs and explain that I wasn't trying to ignore her but I need space when I am sick and I just can't talk then. I was kind externally, but let me say for the record what I was saying inside, "LEAVE ME ALONE! HAVE YOU EVERY TIRED TO VOMIT AND TALK SIMUTANEOUSLY? I DIDN'T THINK SO." I guess ultimately when you are sick you want someone to feel badly for you...probalby are never going to get that from a three year old...so I spent a few moment feeling sorry for myself and now I'll gag down a banana and move on.

The bewitching hours...

I swear someone stops time at our house between 4 and 6pm. The rest of the day moves by at a relatively steady pace. Then late afternoon/evening comes and the clocks just don't CHANGE on minute intervals, I am quite sure. Time drags along as I drag my son along hanging on my leg while I attempt to get dinner on the table. When will the phone call come that reinforcements are on there way? Poor Marc if he happens to leave 5 minutes late from work because let me tell you 5 minutes at this time of day may as well be 5 hours.

I love being a stay at home mom but I think I'd like to find a job from 4-6pm every day even if the salary does no more than cover the childcare I'd need during the time. Anyone hiring? Anyone want to babysit 5 days a week from 4-6? Perhaps along with all the bills going through congress, we should add one in called "Stay at Home Moms Relief Act" and provide stay at home moms with help from 4-6 every day. I'd pay more taxes for that one;) (Can you you just IMAGINE what my congresswoman would do if I called her with that idea?:)

Dilemma

I just had a great nap- an almost two hour, GREAT nap. It felt SOOO amazingly good, but instead of waking up spry, I just want to preserve rest time. I am sitting here on the couch resting. My children are also awake, but I am making every effort to remain silent at this end of the house. Perhaps if they think I am still asleep, they will lay around a little longer too. Phin could actually use a longer nap since he skipped his morning one and Ava? well, she could read more books or something. It just feels so good to sit unbothered. I wonder how long I could stretch this time? I first have to block out the guilty "you are ignoring your children's wake up calls" whispering in my ear, but if I can manage to ignore that, how long could this last? Will Ava stay in her room? Will she go in Phin's? Would he just fall back asleep? He never really cries...how long would we have to leave him until he actually got upset and started crying. Hmmmm...

Interesting question, since at this very moment my daughter has opened her door. She has not left her room yet but is singing a made up song. I would gather that she is nude looking in the mirror cuz she's singing "vagina girl, tummy girl, belly button girl." Oh my! I can only imagine what a mess her room is if she's taken to dressing and undressing in there....

Now, Phin is calling "Aya! Aya!" (that is his word for Ava). Instead of answering, she is singing "Vagina girl" even louder. Oh my word, if I creep around with a video camera this song is CERTAIN to be good blackmail material for later. Of course, then she might here my footsteps and know I am awake. Oh the dilemma's in the life of a mother!

My diamonds

I had a touch and go sort of day. I was proud of myself through pushing through some pretty crap moments and fighting to make today a good one. Not only was I fighting my exhausted and nauseated body today; today I was fighting my son. I have a one year old terror on my hands. Let me tell you, my son is adorable. His face captures hearts whereever we go. He is just cute and he gets lots of attention, but apparently he doesn't get his fill. He ALWAYS needs to have my attention at home. He if often clinging to my leg and has learned to say "UP" though he talks very little otherwise. He also seems to think it is funny to get a huge reaction out of me. He definitely knows how to make sure I "pay" for taking a minute to myself to use the restroom or take a shower. Today he unloaded my dishwasher not once but twice and also stopped it when I tried to run it this evening. The locking mechanism on my oven and dishwasher are useless as Mr. Phin has figured out how to unlock them. It is apparently hilarious to open the dishwasher and just throw dishes on the floor before crawling away. It must be hilarious because he laughs a deep belly laugh when I sigh in exhaustion at the sight. What a booger!

We adore our son and we hope to raise him to have a sense of humor but save his shenanigans for appropriate times...like when mommy is in the mood for nonsense;) One thing I am sure of, he'll be a gentleman and a servant, just like his papa. My touch and go day is ending on a high note because of my hubby who is driving across town to get me a peice of pie...cuz I saw some on the food network that looked yummy. Food is supposed to be the way to a man's heart but when a pregnant nauseated woman sees someting that looks appetizing- nothing beats having that craving met. Yes, I have Phineas- a diamond in the rough, who is still closer to the "coal" stage of the process and I have my hubby who is a diamond of great color and clarity;)

YAY!

We officially have a healthy little bean a growin';) We had an ultrasound yesterday (I'll scan in pic's later when I have a moment) and saw a very strong little heart beat, a cute little body and large head and little tiny weeny arms and legs. Our offspring was kind enough to even move his/her arms and allow us to pretend he/she waved;)


We told Ava "officially" this morning and she's thrilled. She keeps saying, "I can't believe you got a baby in there mommy!" Very sweet reaction! She also keeps saying, "That's why you are sick, right mommy? I am sorry that baby makes you sick." Then when I told her SHE made me VERY sick and that I threw up almost everything I ate when I was pregnant with her and not just every few days, but every time I ate, she found it hilarious. So now she has wanted me to tell her three times about "how I made you throwed up." I don't know why that is such a badge of honor, but whatever....


My doctor said I was 8 week 5 days pregnant as of yesterday. Then she said my due date was 6/12 according to her wheel. The nurse was a little confused by that date and the date the computer gave her and it seemed slightly off to me. This morning I counted out to 40 weeks and it is 6/17....so I left a message with the doctor (she's a good friend;) to check. 6/17 is just weird cuz Ava was due 3/16 and born 3/17, Phin was due 10/17 (but was late) and now 6/17...seems crazy consistent;) Not that a few days matters at that point....but it all has to make sense in my head;)


Anywho- I am glad to be ever closer to less nausea and vomitting and more energy....second trimester couldn't get here soon enough;) Yesterday I had the first good day I've had in a while and to have moments of feeling normal was absolutely refreshing. I got a few things done and just reveled in being able to eat better yesterday. I felt like a decent mom to my kids and I think my husband was glad that I was able to entertain a full conversation and stay engaged;) Today is back to the yucko stomach and tiredness, but I am hopeful there'll be more days like yesterday ahead.

Blog...Schmogg

Lately I am a bump on a log...well on the couch, actually. I have never and I mean NEVER been so tired in my entire life. I can hardly keep food down, nothing tastes good even when I do eat, and I feel abso-flippin-lutely horrible. Oh, and did I mention that I have to take care of two children. AHHH! I just don't feel like doing anything, but lying in bed isn't really an option on most days;P

This weekend my parents and sister took the children, which is one of the best gifts EVER. I was pretty sure by this evening I'd feel rested and energized to start the week, but the honest truth is I am about to cry. Do I really have to be mom again tomorrow? AHHH! We do what we have to do, right? I KNOW that logically, but right now I am having quite a nice pity party;) I have so little energy that though I do miss my children's adorable little faces, I don't want them to come home. That's terrible ,isn't it? But that is the truth at the moment....instead of being rejuvinated by this wonderful break, I am feeling anxious about it's rapidly approaching end. Thank GOD, he gives us strength when we are weak, cuz right now I am in desperate need.

So there is my pity party and now I am done. I have really cute kids and I will somehow keep them alive this week even if they watch a little too much TV and my house starts to get a bit messy and dirty. This season will pass, we will survive...